Humor: Dick Cheney as a 419er (fwd)

[Rik van Riel <riel@conectiva.com.br>]

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Sun, 25 Aug 2002 14:12:05 +0800
From: Suresh Ramasubramanian <mallet@BLACKEHLO.CLUESTICK.ORG>
To: SPAM-L@PEACH.EASE.LSOFT.COM
Subject: Humor: Dick Cheney as a 419er

Spotted this linked on Cory Doctorow's boingboing.net -

http://atrios.blogspot.com/2002_08_18_atrios_archive.html#80547516


>To: Abba_Abacha@aol.ng
>From: dick_cheney@whitehouse.gov
>Subject: Please help
>
>Dear Sir or Madam,
>
>
>I am Mr Dick Cheney a special adviser on Petroleum and economic matters to
>the Head of State of The United States of America. Because of my strategic
>position in the former Government, and also being a close confidant of the
>Head of State, I was able to acquire personally, the Sum of
>$25,000,000,000.00USD (twenty-five billion United States Dollars)
>presently lodged in some offshore sham bank owned by his brother Neil.
>
>
>I made this money largely through "CONSULTANCY FEE" And "Good Faith Fees"
>paid by the stupid chimp out of the public treasury, it really didn't
>matter what I wrote on the invoice. I especially loved writing out the
>"Good Faith" bills. The little monkey would say "this is for Jeezus, right
>Unka Dick?" and I'd say "yes Dubya, its kinda like a 'free will offering'.
>LOL. Texas is the 6th largest Producer/Exporter of Crude Petroleum in the
>world and The Largest Producer/Exporter of fucking morons.
>
>
>As you are probably aware The United States of America is prone to
>Political/Economic Instability, HyperInflation, among other problems. I
>know, things were pretty cool here for the last ten years or so but with
>this dipshit at the wheel I'm thinking its time to git while the gittin's
>good. I have therefore resolved to Invest my money abroad, preferably in
>Real Estate Properties and Sex Toys for safety and optimum returns on
>Investments.
>
>
>However, straight transfer of this money into a bank Abroad will present
>two major problems:
>
>
>1. The tax incidence will be too high, even with the idiotic tax cut the
>chimp managed to get through our congress the taxes are too much. My mama
>didn't raise no fool. I've never paid taxes and I ain't about to start now.
>
>
>2. This could look really, really bad.
>
>
>So as a result of my personal greed, which borders on the psychopathic,
>I've had to find another plan. The solution is to Courier this money in
>cash abroad, through Courier Service Company here in the USA, the money
>will be packed in A Diplomatic Bag or Carton tagged Diplomatic luggage
>Which will be addressed to you. This system is secret and the money is
>therefore untraceable. It is the System used by most top Government
>officials in the USA to remove their fortunes to safety abroad.
>
>
>I have therefore concluded every arrangement with a Courier Company in
>Wyoming to Courier this money abroad using the courtesy and safety of
>Diplomatic Bag (TM). All I now need is an honest partner who can receive
>the money on my behalf and help me to invest as aforementioned.
>
>
>There is absolutely no risk involved in this transaction as the money will
>be delivered to you in United States Dollars Bills. Try not to throw your
>back out dude.
>
>
>If you are interested in assisting me, please send me an email
>immediately, as you are to lodge this money in a bank Account and contact
>me for necessary arrangements for the investment after acknowledgement of
>the receipt of the money.
>
>
>For your help and assistance in this deal, you will receive 30% of this
>money in cash, 10% will be set aside to offset all expenses while the
>remaining 60% is for me.
>
>
>Finally, you are to please urgently email your personal phone and fax
>numbers for an easy communication and for me to instruct the Courier
>Company to dispatch the money to you before we go into other necessary
>details.
>
>
>Expecting to hear from you.
>
>
>Best regards,
>
>
>Dick Cheney
>