From owner-humorix@humbolt.nl.linux.org Tue Jun 29 04:22:54 1999 Received: by humbolt.nl.linux.org id ; Tue, 29 Jun 1999 04:21:36 +0200 Received: from ultra2-100lez.eos.ncsu.edu ([152.1.26.89]:15244 "EHLO ultra2-100lez.eos.ncsu.edu") by humbolt.nl.linux.org with ESMTP id ; Tue, 29 Jun 1999 04:21:12 +0200 Received: (from jkwilli2@localhost) by ultra2-100lez.eos.ncsu.edu (8.8.4/UC02Jan97) id WAA18684; Mon, 28 Jun 1999 22:21:09 -0400 (EDT) Date: Mon, 28 Jun 1999 22:21:09 -0400 (EDT) From: Ken Williams X-Sender: jkwilli2@ultra2-100lez.eos.ncsu.edu To: humorix@humbolt.nl.linux.org Subject: [humorix] The Best of M$ Quotes (i.e breaking in the new listserver) Message-ID: X-Mailer: Microsoft-Solaris 2001 Eudora FrontPage Pro v0.0.1a9 X-Copyright: The contents of this message may not be reproduced X-Copyright: in any form (including Commercial use) unless specific X-Copyright: permission is granted by the author of the message. X-Copyright: All requests must be in writing. X-Copyleft: All rights reserved. All wrongs avenged. X-Disclaimer: The contents of this message are for educational and X-Disclaimer: entertainment purposes only and do not reflect the X-Disclaimer: thoughts or opinions of either myself or my employer X-Disclaimer: and are not endorsed by sponsored by or provided on X-Disclaimer: behalf of North Carolina State University. X-Higher-Power: I am an AUTHORIZED REPRESENTATIVE of God. MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Sender: owner-humorix@humbolt.nl.linux.org Precedence: bulk Reply-To: humorix@humbolt.nl.linux.org Return-Path: X-Orcpt: rfc822;humorix-list yes, they are all real, and i've got the mail headers to prove it. :) ----- "How can I prevent students from changing the text of 'My Computer' to 'This Sucks'?" -- Peter Dalmaijer, Teacher, NT Security mailing list "I know AOL sucks shit, that's why I'm using IRC instead." -- Unknown user on IRC "Win98 is just like a higher quality heroin.. it's still not good for us." -- Capone "The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck, is probably the day Microsoft starts making vacuum cleaners." -- Ernst Jan Plugge "I could make a 486/33 look like a Cray..." -- NT Security mailing list "Each day I receive about 50 messages from this list about the moral implications of port scanning." -- Pete Morton, NT Security mailing list "One of these days, we'll have to have you out behind the woodshed for being such a rabble-rouser." -- Paul Leach, Microsoft Corporation "I don't mind people bashing me and MS for what we do wrong." -- Paul Leach, Microsoft Corporation "It is ironic that, if we had not made networking, TCP, and a standard API to use them as an integral part of the OS, the Web might not be ubiquitous, because the ability to get on the web would be beyond the powers of most users, who would have to acquire and integrate all those things themselves." -- Paul Leach, Microsoft Corporation "So you wanted to get access to the Internet. You called up an ISP, they sent you a pile of diskettes via snail-mail, you installed them. Takes about a week." -- Paul Leach, Microsoft Corporation "Yeah -- we love staying up all night providing patches that close off each port, one by one, as smart crackers change which port they hit." -- Paul Leach, Microsoft Corporation "You may accuse us of incompetence if you like." -- Paul Leach, Microsoft Corporation "We can't seem to stop the DoS attacks." -- Paul Leach, Microsoft Corporation "We deliberately and cynically make the smallest band-aid fixes we can, just enough to convince customers that the problem is fixed when it really isn't." -- Paul Leach, Microsoft Corporation "If it is incompetence, then it isn't just confined to us." -- Paul Leach, Microsoft Corporation "Hmm, well we're hoping that once we get our COFFEE protocol running, we'll be able to control all the coffee makers in the world." -- Josh Cohen, Microsoft Corporation "Dont assume that I'm an NT supporter." -- Josh Cohen, Microsoft Corporation "I caught our network printer one night last week trying to surf the web!" -- Peter Unk, NT sysadmin "Be a hero and point out how stupid MS is for believing that obscurity equals security." -- Paul Leach, Microsoft Corporation "It is always running after I reboot." -- Paul Leach, Microsoft Corporation "We're very, very concerned about privacy issues and the perception of privacy issues, so this is not going to be there in Windows 2000." -- Steven Sinofsky, Microsoft vice president "We're not using these IDs for marketing or for tracking user behavior. It's not something were interested in doing." -- Rob Bennett, Microsoft Windows 2000 group product manager "I would say most people don't quite get how computers work, and they're suspicious of computers in general. That's probably why a lot of these privacy concerns are happening." -- Steven Sinofsky, Microsoft vice presiden "I would like to know specifically a single instance where someone said they were lied to. If anyone is lying, it's the government." -- Greg Shaw, Microsoft executive "We will strengthen cooperation with all parties, including the Chinese government, to accelerate the development of the information industry, with the government setting an example of leadership through this project." -- Bill Gates, Shenzhen, China, 3/11/99 "Microsoft China is committed to working closely with the Chinese government and industry to provide China with the latest and most advanced technology and products to contribute to China's drive in building up a knowledge economy for the next century." -- Juliet Wu, general manager of Microsoft China, 3/11/99 "Despite the hype, the numbers about personal computing and the Internet, we're going to look back on how we're doing things today and think of it as very primitive, even in 10-years time." -- Bill Gates, 4/14/99 "We have made some progress, but people's expectation of software, the scale of system, the level of reliability that they want out of these systems, still greatly exceeds what's possible." -- Bill Gates, 4/14/99 "There is plenty of room at the bottom. We'll be waiting for you." -- ken's boss, to ken, on 6/18/99 take it easy, Ken Williams ken@packetstorm.harvard.edu Packet Storm Security http://packetstorm.harvard.edu - Humorix: Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note Archive: http://humbolt.nl.linux.org/lists/ Web site: http://www.i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/ From owner-humorix@humbolt.nl.linux.org Wed Jun 30 00:45:07 1999 Received: by humbolt.nl.linux.org id ; Wed, 30 Jun 1999 00:43:47 +0200 Received: from smtp4.erols.com ([207.172.3.237]:23429 "EHLO smtp4.erols.com") by humbolt.nl.linux.org with ESMTP id convert rfc822-to-8bit; Wed, 30 Jun 1999 00:43:27 +0200 Received: from frodo.ultranet.com (gandolf.ma.ultranet.com [146.115.234.58]) by smtp4.erols.com (8.8.8/smtp-v1) with SMTP id SAA09162 for ; Tue, 29 Jun 1999 18:43:18 -0400 (EDT) Date: Tue, 29 Jun 1999 18:42:56 -0400 (EDT) From: Noah Paul X-Sender: noahp@frodo.ultranet.com To: humorix@humbolt.nl.linux.org Subject: [humorix] Stop Receiving Junk Mail Now!!!!! (fwd) Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8BIT Sender: owner-humorix@humbolt.nl.linux.org Precedence: bulk Reply-To: humorix@humbolt.nl.linux.org Return-Path: X-Orcpt: rfc822;humorix-list -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE----- - --------- Regards, Noah Paul A Bus Station is where buses stop. A Train Station is where trains stop. On my desk, there is a Work Station. -- Joe Wätte (d88-jwa@dront.nada.kth.se) PGP KEY: finger noahp@uhuru.dhs.org (MAKE CODES NOT GUNS) Fingerprint: 4B 1E 22 03 86 DA 65 DF 90 D4 38 38 F8 68 8B 89 - ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Tue, 29 Jun 1999 13:48:52 -0400 (EDT) From: no_more_junk72@hotmail.com Reply-To: sample@whynot.net To: no_more_junk72@hotmail.com Subject: Stop Receiving Junk Mail Now!!!!! Do you get too much unsolicited junk e-mail? Is this junk e-mail filling up your hard drive? Did you know how easy it is for people to get your e-mail address? Unknowingly to you, your email address is stored in multiple databases throughout the internet. There are programs manufactured that enable people to obtain mass quantities of email addresses, only to sell them to others. These unsolicited e-mails are not illegal, but they are a nusence. Our volunteers are professional webmasters, hard at work trying to keep your email address private. Our webmasters are trying to make it easier for you to surf the web more freely, while keeping your personal information to only those you want to give it to. We are willing to do a case-by-case evaluation. By sending us your e-mail address, we will attempt to track it down anywhere it can be purged from, and hide it from these mass mailing programs. We will not have to remove any e-mails, files, or news group postings you may have sent. We will solely seek out databases that contain your email address, and if they appear questionable, your address will be protected. Just as we are working hard to protect your privacy, others are working hard to expose it. This is why we can not give you a 100% guarantee, but it is a step in the right direction of a junk e-mail free internet. You should see a dramatic decrease in the amount of junk e-mail you receive. We are a non-profit organization. We only ask for money to help us with internet connection fees. If you would like our help, and you would like to help us, then please send $2 and your email address to: No More Junk Mail 972 Bush St # 25 San Francisco, CA 94109 Note: Your email address will not be added to any unsolicited mass mailing lists. -----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE----- Version: 2.6.3i Charset: noconv iQCVAwUBN3lL8/l5Wihq4T8NAQFMnwQAliYq9DsDXpM48I4+cEMsGJuhpjZkWSDU 6czxzyX19EQi5LP7aMaz8sdwJdp4Ihz6ckVNOMXTffnft02MN+edkKbmytyFFgZY lj3/OLPanneHeQ0rLuDMCVkLGJ+8Wqln5sD7j/kJp8HmX9nL8hguN6N6z0amzZGq a4HIyvIm3K0= =uhFf -----END PGP SIGNATURE----- - Humorix: Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note Archive: http://humbolt.nl.linux.org/lists/ Web site: http://www.i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/