From humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org Wed Mar 03 05:07:45 2004 Received: from localhost ([127.0.0.1] helo=humbolt) by humbolt.nl.linux.org with esmtp (Exim 4.22) id 1AyNdw-0005tk-8F; Wed, 03 Mar 2004 05:06:00 +0100 Received: with ECARTIS (v1.0.0; list humorix); Wed, 03 Mar 2004 05:05:55 +0100 (CET) Received: from epic.mail.pas.earthlink.net ([207.217.120.181]) by humbolt.nl.linux.org with esmtp (Exim 4.22) id 1AyNdB-0005sA-As for humorix@mail.nl.linux.org; Wed, 03 Mar 2004 05:05:13 +0100 Received: from sdn-ap-002neomahp0304.dialsprint.net ([63.186.9.50] helo=ldd.net) by epic.mail.pas.earthlink.net with esmtp (Exim 3.33 #1) id 1AyNd6-0005Lv-00 for humorix@mail.nl.linux.org; Tue, 02 Mar 2004 20:05:08 -0800 Message-ID: <40454E65.7070400@ldd.net> Date: Tue, 02 Mar 2004 21:17:57 -0600 From: James Baughn Organization: Humorix World Domination User-Agent: Mozilla/5.0 (X11; U; Linux i586; en-US; rv:1.3) Gecko/20030314 X-Accept-Language: en-us, en MIME-Version: 1.0 To: Humorix Mailing List Subject: [humorix] Dateline 2007: Humorix Becomes Second Largest Media Company Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii; format=flowed Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Received-SPF: X-Spam-Status: No, hits=0.8 required=5.0 tests=RCVD_IN_NJABL,USER_AGENT_MOZILLA_UA,X_ACCEPT_LANG version=2.55 X-Spam-Level: X-Spam-Checker-Version: SpamAssassin 2.55 (1.174.2.19-2003-05-19-exp) X-Approved-By: jbaughn@ldd.net X-ecartis-version: Ecartis v1.0.0 Sender: humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org Errors-to: humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org X-original-sender: jbaughn@ldd.net Precedence: bulk Reply-to: humorix-l@nl.linux.org List-help: List-unsubscribe: List-software: Ecartis version 1.0.0 List-Id: X-List-ID: List-subscribe: List-owner: List-post: List-archive: X-list: humorix Dateline 2007: Humorix Becomes Second Largest Media Company OMNICOMM CITY (FORMERLY NEW YORK CITY) -- Now that every media company in the United States has merged to form Omnicomm (NYSE: BORG), low-budget Linux humor site Humorix (Nasdaq: FAUX) remains the only holdout not assimilated into the collective. "Unlike everybody else, we've managed to avoid a hostile takeover," explained Dr. G. E. Trich, Humorix's Investment Relations Officer and Executive Book Cooker. "Last week, the other remaining standalone company, Clear Channel Radio, was sucked into the bottomless pit of Omnicomm. So Humorix is now Number 2!" Omnicomm was created two years ago from the merger of DisneyComcastABC and TimeWarnerMurdoch. The snowball created by this union continued to grow at an exponential rate with the acquisitions of ViacomDirectTV, XMSiriusAdelphia, NewYorkTimesNationalEnquirer, AssociatedPressVerizonBellATTSprintMCI, MGMParamountPBS, and many others. Even MicrosoftVerisignApple was sucked into the company, despite Bill Gates' attempt to avoid the takeover by creating his own country from vacant land in Nevada. An anonymous source at Humorix admitted earlier today that Omnicomm has offered to acquire the company for a "undisclosed sum, somewhere in the neighborhood of two digits". It seems doubtful that Humorix will accept this offer, especially since the Humorix CEO said last month, "I'd rather make a deal to buy the Brooklyn Bridge from some shady mafia guy than to make a deal with Omnicomm." Profits at Humorix increased substantially in the last year (from $0.00 to $4.23) after the company contracted with Vanity Press, Inc. (later assimilated), to publish a collection of stories from the Humorix archives. Sales of the book, "Humorix: World Domination, One Joke At A Time", have been brisk, with nearly five orders placed on Amazon.com (later assimilated). However, with every publisher and bookseller now under the Omnicomm vice, the future for Humorix is murky. Humorix does have one ace up its sleeves. "After Omnicomm acquired Microsoft, they migrated all of their computers to Windows DE [Dumbed-down Edition]. It's only a matter of time before the whole system running the Omnicomm Empire bluescreens and the company goes 404," Dr. Trich explained. "Then we'll be ready to make our move." -- Humorix: Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note Archive: http://mail.nl.linux.org/humorix/ Web site: http://www.i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/ From humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org Sun Mar 14 05:22:21 2004 Received: from localhost ([127.0.0.1] helo=humbolt) by humbolt.nl.linux.org with esmtp (Exim 4.22) id 1B2N7S-0002To-FF; Sun, 14 Mar 2004 05:20:58 +0100 Received: with ECARTIS (v1.0.0; list humorix); Sun, 14 Mar 2004 05:20:53 +0100 (CET) Received: from epic.mail.pas.earthlink.net ([207.217.120.181]) by humbolt.nl.linux.org with esmtp (Exim 4.22) id 1B2N6V-0002RN-35 for humorix@mail.nl.linux.org; Sun, 14 Mar 2004 05:19:59 +0100 Received: from sdn-ap-002neomahp0130.dialsprint.net ([63.186.8.130] helo=ldd.net) by epic.mail.pas.earthlink.net with esmtp (Exim 3.33 #1) id 1B2N6S-0003Iv-00 for humorix@mail.nl.linux.org; Sat, 13 Mar 2004 20:19:56 -0800 Message-ID: <4053DAD1.1040200@ldd.net> Date: Sat, 13 Mar 2004 22:08:49 -0600 From: James Baughn Organization: Humorix World Domination User-Agent: Mozilla/5.0 (X11; U; Linux i586; en-US; rv:1.3) Gecko/20030314 X-Accept-Language: en-us, en MIME-Version: 1.0 To: Humorix Mailing List Subject: [humorix] Kernel Developer Accused Of Using Pirated Version Of Linux Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii; format=flowed Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Received-SPF: X-Spam-Status: No, hits=1.9 required=5.0 tests=AWL,RCVD_IN_NJABL,RCVD_IN_UNCONFIRMED_DSBL, USER_AGENT_MOZILLA_UA,X_ACCEPT_LANG version=2.55 X-Spam-Level: * X-Spam-Checker-Version: SpamAssassin 2.55 (1.174.2.19-2003-05-19-exp) X-Approved-By: jbaughn@ldd.net X-ecartis-version: Ecartis v1.0.0 Sender: humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org Errors-to: humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org X-original-sender: jbaughn@ldd.net Precedence: bulk Reply-to: humorix-l@nl.linux.org List-help: List-unsubscribe: List-software: Ecartis version 1.0.0 List-Id: X-List-ID: List-subscribe: List-owner: List-post: List-archive: X-list: humorix Kernel Developer Accused Of Using Pirated Version Of Linux March 13, 2004 SILLYCON VALLEY -- One moment, Eric Hasher was getting ready to send a message to the Linux Kernel Mailing List. The next, he heard shouts of "This is a raid!" and a phalanx of armed forces wearing ASB uniforms (Authoritarian Software Bullies) stormed into his office. Before long, he found himself confined in Cellblock 3 of the local ASB Justice Center awaiting trial on 5,232 counts of software piracy. "The ASB goons started demanding certificates of authenticity and registration keys for every piece of software on my computers," Hasher said. "I tried to explain to them that I was a Linux developer and that every single byte of software on my machines is 100% open source, but they didn't seem to understand or care." According to an ASB spokesweasel, Hasher had 5,232 different illegal software programs installed on his office computers, including Emacs (which counts as 200). The ASB estimated that the street value for all of this software was somewhere near $23 million. "Criminals like this make me sick," the ASB spokesweasel ranted. "This blatant disregard for intellectual property rights is costing the American economy several trillion dollars each year. Just the source code for one recent version of Microsoft Windows is worth more than all of the world's gold put together. Needless to say, we take these things very seriously." Attempts by Hasher to beat the ASB enforcers over the head with a cluestick have so far proven futile. "Terms like open source, GPL, and Linux all mean nothing to them," he lamented. "According to the ASB, all software is proprietary and must be properly licensed and registered -- even if you helped develop it," Hasher said. "If you have misplaced even just one license key, you're going to jail. You don't even want to know what they do to people who obtain a piece of software with a student discount and then turn around and use it for commercial work." "On the bright side, at least I've made some friends here. My cellmate is a fellow Linux hacker who created a small open source program and was then arrested because he didn't issue a proper certificate of authenticity to himself. He's charged with one count of meta-piracy and various other frivolous charges." As a community service (yeah, right), our own legal counsel, Mr. Noah Morals of the Lowe, Morals, and Scruples Law Firm, has graciously offered to provide his services free of charge to all users arrested by the ASB for pirating un-pirate-able software. Morals is assembling a dream team of copyright lawyers, including Mr. M. T. Scruples (junior partner), Mr. Bob "Bear" Attry, Mr. Les Honor, Mrs. Petty Fogger, and Ms. Sully Sittor. "We're preparing to execute an energetic upward gesticulation of our lower extremities following an alignment converging on their collective posteriors," boasted Mr. Scruples. [Translation: "We're going to kick their ass."] -- Humorix: Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note Archive: http://mail.nl.linux.org/humorix/ Web site: http://www.i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/ From humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org Sun Mar 14 05:22:24 2004 Received: from localhost ([127.0.0.1] helo=humbolt) by humbolt.nl.linux.org with esmtp (Exim 4.22) id 1B2N7S-0002Tn-FL; Sun, 14 Mar 2004 05:20:58 +0100 Received: with ECARTIS (v1.0.0; list humorix); Sun, 14 Mar 2004 05:20:53 +0100 (CET) Received: from epic.mail.pas.earthlink.net ([207.217.120.181]) by humbolt.nl.linux.org with esmtp (Exim 4.22) id 1B2N6W-0002Qg-6Y for humorix@mail.nl.linux.org; Sun, 14 Mar 2004 05:20:00 +0100 Received: from sdn-ap-002neomahp0130.dialsprint.net ([63.186.8.130] helo=ldd.net) by epic.mail.pas.earthlink.net with esmtp (Exim 3.33 #1) id 1B2N6M-0003D4-00 for humorix@mail.nl.linux.org; Sat, 13 Mar 2004 20:19:51 -0800 Message-ID: <404D238C.6040901@ldd.net> Date: Mon, 08 Mar 2004 19:53:16 -0600 From: James Baughn Organization: Humorix World Domination User-Agent: Mozilla/5.0 (X11; U; Linux i586; en-US; rv:1.3) Gecko/20030314 X-Accept-Language: en-us, en MIME-Version: 1.0 To: Humorix Mailing List Subject: [humorix] Feds Unveil Practical Method To Combat Spam Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii; format=flowed Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Received-SPF: X-Spam-Status: No, hits=2.5 required=5.0 tests=AWL,DATE_IN_PAST_96_XX,HTML_00_10,HTML_MESSAGE, RCVD_IN_NJABL,RCVD_IN_UNCONFIRMED_DSBL, USER_AGENT_MOZILLA_UA,X_ACCEPT_LANG version=2.55 X-Spam-Level: ** X-Spam-Checker-Version: SpamAssassin 2.55 (1.174.2.19-2003-05-19-exp) X-Approved-By: jbaughn@ldd.net X-ecartis-version: Ecartis v1.0.0 Sender: humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org Errors-to: humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org X-original-sender: jbaughn@ldd.net Precedence: bulk Reply-to: humorix-l@nl.linux.org List-help: List-unsubscribe: List-software: Ecartis version 1.0.0 List-Id: X-List-ID: List-subscribe: List-owner: List-post: List-archive: X-list: humorix Feds Unveil Practical Method To Combat Spam March 8, 2004 WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In an effort to drum up public support for its Orwellian surveillance programs, the FBI and CIA today announced a new project to employ the Carnivore and Echelon spy systems to help combat spam. "It's such an ingenious system I can't believe nobody has thought of it before," explained Special Agent Lee Thullweppon. "Basically, we use our spy toys to track down every instance in which a gullible idiot purchases something from a spammer. After compiling a list of every clueless Internet user in the country, we can then publicly humiliate them." In addition to publishing the names and email addresses of these suckers, the FBI will also turn over their database to the FCC, which is publishing a Please-Do-Spam list that will be distributed to spammers. "If a spammer has access to a list of millions* of clue-impaired users, they won't need to bother sending spam to anybody else," Thullweppon argued. "It's a win-win-win situation. The clueless users will continue to receive you-know-what-lengthening promos and get-rich-quick come-ons (which they obviously like), the spammers will continue to receive boatloads of money for being vile scum, and everybody else will be able to use email again without fearing that their keyboard's DELETE key will stop working due to overuse." Reaction to the new program has been mixed. "We need to destroy spammers, not help them make more money," said one irate user who has stopped using email altogether and may only be contacted by Avian Carrier at the coordinates 37.715833 N, 91.719722 W. "A better solution is to make it legal to commit identify theft against known spammers in order for spam victims to recoup some money," the irate user continued. "Perhaps Carnivore could track down the social-security numbers of every spammer, and then this information could be distributed to spam victims through some kind of lottery system." Another user said, "I'm far more worried about George Orwell than I am about Alan Ralsky. Just wait until political parties get their hands on this list of gullible fools -- the Republican and Democratic Parties will both have a field day with such information!" However, one person we interviewed, Mr. Sy Cofant of Falls Church, Virginia, was ecstatic about the news. "With all of the information that the government has collected in order to protect freedom, it's good to see that they can now protect us from spam. I can't wait until they devise a way to automatically prepare our tax returns for us, a move that would protect us from paperwork and allow us to spend more time with our beloved children. Isn't technology great?" -- Humorix: Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note Archive: http://mail.nl.linux.org/humorix/ Web site: http://www.i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/ From humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org Sat Mar 27 05:10:18 2004 Received: from localhost ([127.0.0.1] helo=humbolt) by humbolt.nl.linux.org with esmtp (Exim 4.22) id 1B757s-0007IO-RO; Sat, 27 Mar 2004 05:08:52 +0100 Received: with ECARTIS (v1.0.0; list humorix); Sat, 27 Mar 2004 05:08:47 +0100 (CET) Received: from atlantic.mail.pas.earthlink.net ([207.217.120.179]) by humbolt.nl.linux.org with esmtp (Exim 4.22) id 1B7575-0007HJ-VE for humorix@mail.nl.linux.org; Sat, 27 Mar 2004 05:08:04 +0100 Received: from sdn-ap-002neomahp0612.dialsprint.net ([63.186.10.104] helo=ldd.net) by atlantic.mail.pas.earthlink.net with esmtp (Exim 3.33 #1) id 1B756z-0000u8-00 for humorix@mail.nl.linux.org; Fri, 26 Mar 2004 20:07:57 -0800 Message-ID: <4064FEF3.4090908@ldd.net> Date: Fri, 26 Mar 2004 22:11:31 -0600 From: James Baughn Organization: Humorix World Domination User-Agent: Mozilla/5.0 (X11; U; Linux i586; en-US; rv:1.3) Gecko/20030314 X-Accept-Language: en-us, en MIME-Version: 1.0 To: Humorix Mailing List Subject: [humorix] Why You Should Choose Microsoft Word Over vi Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii; format=flowed Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Received-SPF: X-Spam-Status: No, hits=0.2 required=5.0 tests=AWL,BAYES_20,RCVD_IN_NJABL,USER_AGENT_MOZILLA_UA version=2.55 X-Spam-Level: X-Spam-Checker-Version: SpamAssassin 2.55 (1.174.2.19-2003-05-19-exp) X-Approved-By: jbaughn@ldd.net X-ecartis-version: Ecartis v1.0.0 Sender: humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org Errors-to: humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org X-original-sender: jbaughn@ldd.net Precedence: bulk Reply-to: humorix-l@nl.linux.org List-help: List-unsubscribe: List-software: Ecartis version 1.0.0 List-Id: X-List-ID: List-subscribe: List-owner: List-post: List-archive: X-list: humorix Why You Should Choose Microsoft Word Over vi March 26, 2004 In a major new case study sure to grab the attention of Pointy Haired Bosses everywhere, Microsoft announced today that the Total Cost of Ownership of Microsoft Word is 94% lower than that of the open-source equivalent, vi. "There's simply no comparison," said a Microsoft researcher. "We cannot believe that anybody would seriously use something so primitive as vi in this day and age. The same can be said about all Linux distributions, which universally bundle vi." The report, entitled "Using Anything But Word Is Truly Absurd", lists several reasons why vi is inferior to Microsoft's innovative solution: * vi produces files with "non-standard" line endings that can cause problems with DOS/Windows based software. * Smart quotes, Wingdings, and other special characters are not available in vi. * While automation is available on vi/Linux systems, it does not match the scripting power available to Word document macros, such as allowing scripts to delete files, send unlimited emails, and repartition the hard drive. * vi depends on a very user-unfriendly interface based on 1970's technology that does not include such basic features as wizards, animated agents, and toolbar icons numbering in the thousands. * Licenses for vi and Linux include viral attributes that could undermine your business plan. (Is it any coincidence that you can't spell "virus" without "vi"?) * Word can easily export to various file formats, such as HTML and XML, while vi requires that you manually enter the arcane tags and code for these formats. "This is just the tip of the iceberg," boasted the co-author of the report, an employee in the Microsoft Department of Spreading Truth About Our Competition. "We didn't even get into the more bizarre aspects of vi, such as being forced to use weird commands involving colons and exclamation points to get anything done. When I first sat down and tried to learn vi, I was immediately reminded of Microsoft Bob -- the only Microsoft product that employees are allowed to disparage. But in reality vi is even more incomprehensible..." The report gives examples of some companies that have succesfully deployed Word after considering vi. One Fortune 100,000 company president is quoted as saying, "After performing a what-if analysis using Excel, we were convinced that exclusively using Word for all documents instead of vi would save our company $650 per year. And based on our accounting calculations using Microsoft Money, that's exactly what's happened." Another president for a small company said, "I thought we could save some money with a small-scale installation of Linux. But when I tried to get my nephew -- our IT guy with MCSE certification -- to learn vi, he nearly pulled all his hair out from frustration just trying to save a simple file. Obviously, our experiment with Linux was a disaster." Indeed, the Microsoft report cites research indicating that vi users have 12% less hair than Word users. "This cannot be coincidental... it's obvious that vi users are more likely to pull out and damage their hair," the report states. In response, one industry pundit said, "It's not immediately clear what methodology was used for this 'research'. But the fact that Microsoft produced the report means that it must be accurate... if you can't trust Microsoft, who can you trust? Certainly you can't trust the open source community. Their main mouthpiece, Slashdot, can't even avoid posting duplicate stories. What makes you think their credibility is any better?" -- Humorix: Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note Archive: http://mail.nl.linux.org/humorix/ Web site: http://www.i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/ From humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org Wed Mar 31 06:10:23 2004 Received: from localhost ([127.0.0.1] helo=humbolt) by humbolt.nl.linux.org with esmtp (Exim 4.22) id 1B8X28-0003xT-4x; Wed, 31 Mar 2004 06:08:56 +0200 Received: with ECARTIS (v1.0.0; list humorix); Wed, 31 Mar 2004 06:08:50 +0200 (CEST) Received: from epic.mail.pas.earthlink.net ([207.217.120.181]) by humbolt.nl.linux.org with esmtp (Exim 4.22) id 1B8X1F-0003s7-7p for humorix@mail.nl.linux.org; Wed, 31 Mar 2004 06:08:01 +0200 Received: from sdn-ap-011neomahp0079.dialsprint.net ([63.189.40.79] helo=ldd.net) by epic.mail.pas.earthlink.net with esmtp (Exim 3.33 #1) id 1B8X18-0004Qm-00 for humorix@mail.nl.linux.org; Tue, 30 Mar 2004 20:07:54 -0800 Message-ID: <406A44CE.6040608@ldd.net> Date: Tue, 30 Mar 2004 22:10:54 -0600 From: James Baughn Organization: Humorix World Domination User-Agent: Mozilla/5.0 (X11; U; Linux i586; en-US; rv:1.3) Gecko/20030314 X-Accept-Language: en-us, en MIME-Version: 1.0 To: Humorix Mailing List Subject: [humorix] Tuxissa Victims Sued By You-Know-Who Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii; format=flowed Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Received-SPF: X-Spam-Status: No, hits=-0.1 required=5.0 tests=BAYES_30,RCVD_IN_NJABL,USER_AGENT_MOZILLA_UA version=2.55 X-Spam-Level: X-Spam-Checker-Version: SpamAssassin 2.55 (1.174.2.19-2003-05-19-exp) X-Approved-By: jbaughn@ldd.net X-ecartis-version: Ecartis v1.0.0 Sender: humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org Errors-to: humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org X-original-sender: jbaughn@ldd.net Precedence: bulk Reply-to: humorix-l@nl.linux.org List-help: List-unsubscribe: List-software: Ecartis version 1.0.0 List-Id: X-List-ID: List-subscribe: List-owner: List-post: List-archive: X-list: humorix Tuxissa Victims Sued By You-Know-Who March 30, 2004 By ultravioletu SOMEWHERE IN UTAH -- As part of their ongoing strategy to surpass Microsoft as the world's most evil corporation, The SCO Group today filed several thousand new lawsuits against victims of the Tuxissa computer virus. As both regular Humorix readers will remember, the Tuxissa virus infects Windows machines and silently upgrades them to Linux [1] -- without paying royalties to SCO. In a press release issued today, SCO's Minister of Information stated, "For the last several months, we have generously offered a steep 0.2% discount on our Linux licenses for viral-based distributions such as Tuxissa. But despite this magnanimous offer, the makers of Tuxissa continue to distribute their software in clear violation of our well-established intellectual property rights. We have taken proactive steps to end this outrage..." SCO compiled the list of Tuxissa users with the help of the newly deployed Organized Real-time Worldwide Electronic Listening Layer (ORWELL), a protocol included in IPv666. One SCO representative, a Mr. Schpokes Weezull, said, "We would like to thank our master... er, sponsor... er, I mean, a... ummm... a certain patriotic Redmond-based company that innovated the IPv666 system which made all this possible." "Up until now most people with a Tuxissa infection on their machines were unaware that they were actually using Linux instead of Windows," explained Weezull. "The friendly letters sent out by our legal department should educate these users and rectify the situation. If we cannot settle these lawsuits to our liking, we are prepared to dispatch our own virus which will seemlessly upgrade Tuxissa machines to SCO Unix while automatically deducting a large amounts from the users' bank accounts (another bonus feature of IPv666)." One SCO official said strictly off the record, "Somehow, I feel a bit sorry for these people -- most of them are just a bunch of flaming clueless users, having no idea that they don't actually run Windows. I even doubt that they know what Linux means (some kind of comic strip character, maybe?). However, we had to think of our lawyer's children." Indeed, Mr. Hal Fwit, 41, office manager, admitted: "Yeah, now that you mention it, I remember that, one day, all the dancing paperclips, never-ending wizards, search dogs and strange bluescreens suddenly disappeared. However, I was still able to browse my adult dating website all day long without any trouble, so why bother thinking of about it?" SCO has also tracked down the authors of Tuxissa, which were on the top of the company's Most Wanted list (followed by that master thief, Linus Torvalds, who first stole Unix's intellectual property from an unsecured FTP server in the late 1980's and then passed the code off as his own). "We are currently holding the Tuxissa troublemakers in our top-secret tortur... er, negotiation room," announced Mr. Weezull. "Hopefully we can reach a mutual agreement in which they purchase at full price 100,000 SCO Linux licenses in exchange for not being deported to the bottom of the Arctic Ocean (our Pacific Ocean deportation office is currently experiencing a backlog)." "In addition to Tuxissa users," Weezull added, "we also have our sights set on those freaky long-haired Marx-loving hippies residing on Humorixia [2], the island nation in which practicing law is punishable by stoning with AOL discs [3]. However, our specially trained CDE (Coup D'Etat) elite paramilitary unit will soon infiltrate the Humorixia Dictatorship and bring liberty, democracy and frivolous lawsuits to the country. No longer will these oppressed Humorixians be forced to live without lawyers. It will be a great day for liberation." Some commentators have speculated about what group could be the next target. The Humorix Vast Spy Network(tm) reports that The SCO Group is preparing a massive operation against dogs, coyotes, jackals, wolves, werewolves and other species that dare to bark without paying any royalties to the SCO Legal Department (according to patent #52864149345678). --- [1] http://humorix.org/articles/1999/03/tuxissa/ [2] http://humorix.org/articles/1999/12/humorixia-founded/ [3] Well, can you think of a better use for old AOL discs? -- Humorix: Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note Archive: http://mail.nl.linux.org/humorix/ Web site: http://www.i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/