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Microsoft Does Not Acquire Linux
March 31, 2003

REDMOND, WA -- During a press conference held earlier
today, Microsoft announced that they have not acquired
Linux or any other open-source projects.  The company made
the surprise announcement because, in the words of the
Microsoft spokesserf,  "We're sick and tired of all of the
fake stories published on April Fool's Day that claim that
we have acquired Linux. This is a pre-emptive strike
against that kind of nonsense."

The spokesserf continued, "You won't believe the number of
calls and emails we receive on April 1st from people that
honestly believe that Microsoft has initiated a hostile
takeover of Red Hat, or that Bill Gates has sold his soul
to Satan, or that Microsoft is about to release a version
of Windows for abacusses.   If we didn't have to deal with
all of this crap every year, we could focus more energy on
producing innovative, best-of-breed, secure solutions for
the industry..."

Microsoft has been campaigning to eliminate April Fool's
Day for years. "April 1st is no laughing matter," a
Microsoft employee said last year in a leaked memo obtained
by ESR, dubbed the "April Fool's Day" memo.   "All of the
world takes it upon themselves to engage in senseless
Microsoft bashing on that day.   The insanity must end..."

[Editor's Note: At Humorix, we don't celebrate April Fool's
Day -- we only observe August Fool's Day.  Besides, we're
not in the business of senseless Microsoft bashing... our
goal is to bash Microsoft senseless.]

Meanwhile, Benevolent Dictator and Geek Celebrity Linus
Torvalds announced today that all of the rumors of his
demise are greatly exaggerated.  "Every year at this time
there's a bunch of websites that claim that I'm retiring or
that I've sold out to Red Hat," he said in a mailing list
posting.  "These claims are simply not true.  After all,
I've already sold out to Transmeta."

On the other hand, RMS and ESR were both frantically hoping
that somebody will pay attention to them on April Fool's
Day -- or any day, for that matter.  "I haven't been
mentioned on Slashdot in a long time," RMS said.  "People
just aren't passionate about GNU/Linux anymore.  I'm going
to have to invent some new controversy to stir people up
and put the GNU Project back in the spotlight."

ESR wrote in a Usenet posting, "I thought I was the de
facto leader of the Open Source Movement(tm).  What
happened?  How did I lose my celebritydom?  It's because I
don't get featured on Slashdot enough.  It's all Taco Boy's
fault!"

Taco Boy was unavailable for comment at press time.
According to research conducted by Humorix, the rumors
currently circulating that Slashdot once went a full day
without posting a duplicate story or a glaring misspelling
are, indeed, false.  "Even on April 1st, people aren't
gullible enough to believe that story," said one Vast Spy
Network(tm) member.



--
Humorix:      Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note
Archive:      http://mail.nl.linux.org/humorix/
Web site:     http://www.i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/


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Man Born On April Fools Day Sues To Have Birthday Changed
April 1, 2003

Adolph Hitler of Munich, North Dakota is sick of his name,
his body, and his birthday.  Born on April 1, 1975, Adolph
Hitler, the son of Mary and Bob Hitler, has endured a
lifetime of jokes.  Earlier today he appeared before a
judge and demanded that his birthday be officially changed.

"I hate celebrating my birthday on April Fool's Day," he
explained.   "Every year I get a never-ending series of gag
gifts from my so-called friends.  I can't stand it!"

Adolph also wants to legally change his name and undergo a
face-lift, but he says those things are not nearly as
problematic as his birthday. "I can tolerate the Third
Reich jokes and all of the comments about the hideous shape
of my nose.  But the constant sniggering about being an
April Fool is simply too much."

Judge Harold Flafferty has not yet ruled on Hitler's
request for a writ of habeus birthday changus, or
whatever the heck the Latin term is for legal birthday
changes.  According to our research, no such request has
ever been made in North Dakota -- even from people born on
February 29th or December 25th.

However, even though Adolph has endured nearly 2.5 million
Hitler, crooked-nose, and April Fool jokes during his life
(he uses a pocket calculator to keep track), he still tries
to keep his crappy life in perspective.  "It could be
worse," he muttered.  "I could be named Bill Gates."


--
Humorix:      Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note
Archive:      http://mail.nl.linux.org/humorix/
Web site:     http://www.i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/


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Geeks Panic After Google Fails To Deliver Any April Fool's Day Gags
April 1, 2003

SILLYCON VALLEY -- Is Google becoming yet another uncool
PHB-dominated company?  That's the question many geeks and
Google groupies are asking after the search enging failed
to publish any April Fool's Day spoofs or even change its
logo for the day.

"This is not a good sign," said one industry analyst who is
always available for comment.  "There's rumors of an IPO.
And instead of doing something fun for April 1st, their
bland site only contains links like 'Advertise with Us' and
'Business Solutions'..."

Many geeks are worried that Google has "jumped the shark",
to misuse a metaphor.  "Yahoo-with-an-exclamation-point
went from cool to yet another lame portal site within a
matter of months," explained a computer industry historian
specializing in the 1999 Dotcom Era.  "The marketers, PHBs,
and venture capitalists starting calling the shots and
things went downhill from there.  Could Google be next?"

The thought of Google tossing aside its geekish roots for
corporatedom is not a pleasant one.  "I shudder to think
what could happen next," said a Google groupie.  "Many
people have become utterly dependent on the Benevolent
Google Search Engine Monopoly.  If we can't trust them
anymore, then what are we going to do?  Go back to using
AOL Search?"

Not everybody available for comment was so pessimistic
about Google's future.  "Nobody can create a compelling
April's Fools Day joke every year.  We shouldn't read too
much into this.  As long as their search results allow me
to continue finding... ahhhh, adult reading material, than
why worry?"

A spokesperson for Google was unavailable for comment at
press time, although admittedly we didn't try very hard.


--
Humorix:      Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note
Archive:      http://mail.nl.linux.org/humorix/
Web site:     http://www.i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/


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<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">Does this headline look familiar? Of course it 
does. You most likely have just seen this story recently featured on a major 
news program (USA). </span></b></font></font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">His mother was cleaning and 
putting laundry away when she came across a large brown paper bag that was 
suspiciously buried beneath some clothes and a skateboard in the back of her 
15-year old sons closet. Nothing could have prepared her for the shock she got 
when she opened the bag and found it was full of cash. Five-dollar bills, 
twenties, fifties and hundreds all neatly rubber banded in labeled piles. </font>
</font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">&quot;My first thought was that he 
had robbed a bank&quot;, says the 41-year old woman. &quot;There was over $71,000 in 
that--thatâ€™s more than my husband earns in a year.&quot; </font></font></span></b>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">The woman immediately called 
her husband at the car dealership where he worked to tell him what she had 
discovered. He came home right away and they drove together to the boyâ€™s 
school and picked him up. Little did they suspect that where the money came from 
was more shocking than actually finding it in the closet. </font></font></span>
</b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">As it turns out, the boy had 
been sending out e-mails, a type of &quot;Report&quot; to email addresses that he obtained 
off the internet. Everyday after school for the past 2 months, he had been doing 
this right on his computer in his bedroom. </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">&quot;I just got the e-mail one day 
and I figured what the heck. I put my name on it like the instructions said and 
I started sending it out&quot;, says the clever 15 year old. </font></font></span>
</b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">The email letter listed 5 
addresses and contained instructions to send one $5 dollar bill to each person 
on the list, then delete the address at the top and move the other addresses 
down, and finally, to add your name to the top of the list. </font></font>
</span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">The letter goes on to state 
that you would receive several thousand dollars in five-dollar bills within 2 
weeks if you sent out the letter with your name at the top of the 5 address 
list. &quot;I get junk email all the time, and really did not think it was going to 
work.&quot; the boy continues. </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Within the first few days of 
sending out the email, the Post Office that his parents had got him for his 
video-game magazine subscriptions began to fill up not with magazines, but 
envelopes containing $5 bills. &quot;About a week later, I rode (my bike) down to the 
post office and my box had 1 magazine and about 300 envelopes stuffed in it. 
There was also a yellow slip that said I had to go up to the post office 
counter. I thought I was in trouble or something (laughs), He goes on. &quot;I went 
up to the counter and they had a whole box of more mail for me. I had to ride 
back home and empty my backpack because I could not carry it all.&quot; </font>
</font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Over the next few weeks, the 
boy continued sending out the email. &quot;The money just kept coming in and I just 
kept sorting it out and stashing it in the closet, barely had time for my 
homework.&quot; He had also been riding his bike to several of the banks in his area 
and exchanging the $5 bills for twenties, fifties, and hundreds.</font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">&quot;I didnâ€™t want the banks to 
get suspicious, so I kept riding to different banks with five thousand dollars 
at a time in my backpack. I would usually tell the lady at the bank counter that 
my Dad had sent me in to exchange the money and he was outside waiting for me. 
One time the lady gave me a really strange look and told me that she would not 
be able to do it for me and my dad would have to come in and do it, but I just 
rode to the next bank down the street. (laughs) </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">Surprisingly, the boy did not have any reason to be 
afraid. The reporting news team examined and investigated the so-called chain 
letter the boy was sending out and found that it was not a chain letter at all. 
In fact, it was completely legal according to US Postal and Lottery Laws, Title 
18, Section 1302 and 1341, Title 18, Section 3005 in the US code, also in the 
code of federal regulations. Volume 16, Sections 255 and 436, which state a 
product or service must be exchanged for money received. </span></b></font>
</font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Every five-dollar bill that 
the boy received contained a note that read: &quot;Please send me report number XXX.&quot; 
This simple note made the letter legal because he was exchanging a service (A 
report on how to) for a five-dollar bill fee. </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Here is the letter that the 15 
year old was sending out by email, you can do the exact same thing he was doing, 
simply by following the instructions in this letter. </font></font></span></b>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Dear Friends and Future 
Milllionaires: </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">AS SEEN ON NATIONAL TV; </font>
</font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Making over half a million 
dollars every 4 to 5 months from your home for an investment of $25.00 US 
expense one time. THANKS TO THE COMPUTER AND THE INTERNET. </font></font></span>
</b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Before you say &quot;Bull&quot;, please 
read the following. This is the letter you have been hearing about on the news 
lately. Due to the popularity of this letter on the Internet, a national weekly 
news program recently devoted an entire show to the investigation of this 
program described below, to see if it really can make people money. The show 
also investigated whether or not the program was legal. </font></font></span>
</b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Their findings proved once and 
for all that there are absolutely NO laws prohibiting the participation in the 
program and if people can follow the simple instructions, they are bound to make 
some mega bucks with only $ 25.00 out of pocket cost. DUE TO THE RECENT INCREASE 
OF POPULARITY &amp; RESPECT THIS PROGRAM HAS ATTAINED, IT IS CURRENTLY WORKING 
BETTER THAN EVER. </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">This is what one had to say: 
&quot;Thanks to this profitable opportunity, I was approached many times before but 
each time I passed on it. I am so glad I finally joined just to see what one 
could expect in return for the minimal effort and money required. To my 
astonishment, I received a total of $610,470.00 in 21 weeks with money still 
coming in. </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Here is another testimonial: 
&quot;This program has been around for a long time but I never believed in it. But 
one day when I received this again in the mail, I decided to gamble my $25.00 on 
it. I followed the simple instructions and viola.....3 weeks later the money 
started to come. First month, I only made $240.00 but in the next 2 months after 
that I made a total of $290,000.00. So far, in the past 8 months by re-entering 
the program, I have made over $710,000.00 and I am playing it again. The key to 
success in this program is to the follow the simple steps and NOT change 
anything.&quot; More testimonials later, but first, </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">PRINT THIS NOW FOR YOUR FUTURE 
REFERENCE </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">If you would like to make at 
least $500,00.00 every 4 to 5 months easily and comfortably, please read the 
following....THEN READ IT AGAIN AND AGAIN. </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">$$$ 
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">FOLLOW THE SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS 
BELOW AND YOUR FINANCIAL DREAMS WILL COME TRUE, GUARANTEED. </font></font>
</span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">INSTRUCTIONS; </font></font>
</span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Order all 5 reports shown on 
the list below and for each report, send $5 CASH, THE NAME AND NUMBER OF THE 
REPORT YOU ARE ORDERING and YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS to the person whose name appears 
ON THAT LIST NEXT TO THE REPORT. </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">MAKE SURE YOUR RETURN ADDRESS 
IS ON YOUR ENVELOPE TOP LEFT CORNER in case of any mail problems. </font></font>
</span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">When you place an order, make 
sure you order each of the 5 reports. You will need all 5 reports so that you 
can save them on your computer and resell them. YOUR TOTAL COST $5 X 5= $25.00. 
Within a few days, you will receive, via email, each of the 5 reports from these 
5 different individuals. Save them on your computer so they will be accessible 
for you to send to the 1,000`s of people who will order them from you. Also make 
a floppy of these reports and keep it on your desk in case something happens to 
your computer IMPORTANT - DO NOT alter the names of the people who are listed 
next to each report, or their sequence on the list, in any way other than what 
is instructed below in steps 1 through 6 or you will lose out on the majority of 
your profits.Once you understand the way this works, you will also see how it 
does not work if you change it. Remember, this method has been tested, and if 
you alter, it will NOT work. People have tried to put their friends and 
relatives names on all five, thinking they could get all the money. </font>
</font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">But it does not work that way. 
Believe us, we have all tried to be greedy and then nothing happened. So, Do Not 
try to change anything other than what is instructed. If you do, it will not 
work for you. Remember, honesty reaps the reward. After you have ordered all 5 
reports, take this advertisement and REMOVE the name &amp; address of the person in 
report in #5. </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">This person has made it 
through the cycle and is no doubt counting their fortune. </font></font></span>
</b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">2.....Move the name &amp;address 
in REPORT #4 DOWN TO REPORT #5 </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">3.....Move the name &amp; address 
in REPORT #3 DOWN TO REPORT #4 </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">4....Move the name &amp; address 
in REPORT #2 DOWN TO REPORT #3 </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">5....Move the name &amp; address 
in REPORT #1 DOWN TO REPORT #2 </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">6....Insert YOUR name and 
address in the REPORT #l position </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">[PLEASE MAKE SURE you copy 
every name and address ACCURATELY </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Take this entire letter, with 
the modified list of names, and save it on your computer. DO NOT MAKE ANY OTHER 
CHANGES. Save this on a disk as well, just in case you lose any data. To assist 
you with marketing your business on the Internet, the 5 reports you purchase 
will provide you with invaluable marketing information which includes how to 
send bulk emails legally, where to find thousands of free classified ads, and 
much more. </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">There are 2 primary methods to 
get the venture going. </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">METHOD #l: BY SENDING BULK 
EMAIL LEGALLY </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Letâ€™s say that you decide to 
start small, just to see how it goes, and we will assume you and those involved 
send out only 5,000 email each. Letâ€™s also assume that the mailing receive 
only a 0.2% response (the response could be better but letâ€™s just say it is 
only 0.2%. Also many people will send out hundreds of thousands of emails 
instead of only 5,000 each. </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Continuing with this example, 
you send out only 5,000 emails. With a 0.2% response, that is only 10 orders for 
report #1. Those 10 people responded by sending out 5,000 emails each for a 
total of 50,000. Out of those 50,000 emails only 0.2% responded with ord ers. 
Thatâ€™s 100 people responded and ordered report #2, those 100 people mail out 
5,000 each for a total of 500,000 emails. The 0.2% response to that is 1000 
orders for report #3. </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Those 1000 people send out 
5,000 emails feach for a total of 5 million emails sent out. The 0.2% response 
to that is 10,000 orders for Report #4. </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Those 10,000 people send out 
5.000 emails each for a total of 5 0,000,00 emails. The 0.2% response to that is 
l00,000.00 orders for #5. Thatâ€™s 100,000 ORDERS TIMES $5 EACH ......$500,00.00 
(half a million) </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Your total income in this 
example is: </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">1....$50+ </font></font>
</span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">2....$500+ </font></font>
</span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">3....$5,000+ </font></font>
</span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">4....$50,000+ </font></font>
</span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">5....$500,000 </font></font>
</span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Grand total= $555,550.00
</font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">NUMBERS DO NOT LIE. GET A PENCIL &amp; PAPER AND FIGURE 
OUT THE WORST POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND NO MATTER HOW YOU CALCULATE IT, YOU WILL 
STILL MAKE A LOT OF MONEY. </span></b></font></font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">REMEMBER, FRIEND, THIS IS 
ASSUMING ONLY 10 PEOPLE ORDERING OUT OF 5,000 THAT YOU MAILED TO. </font></font>
</span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Dare to think for a moment 
what would happen if everyone or half or even one 4th of those people mailed 
100,000 emails each, or more? There are over 1509 million people on the Internet 
worldwide and counting. Believe me, many people will do just that, and more.
</font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">METHOD #2: BY PLACING FREE ADS 
ON THE INTERNET </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Advertising on the net is very 
inexpensive and there are hundreds of FREE places to advertise. Placing a lot of 
free ads on the Internet will easily get a larger response.. We strongly suggest 
you to start with Method #1 and add Method #2 as you go along. For every $5 you 
receive, all you must do is email them the report they ordered. Thatâ€™s it. 
Always provide same day service on all orders. </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">This will guarantee that the 
emails they send out, with your name and address on it, will be prompt because 
they cannot advertise until they receive the reports. </font></font></span></b>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">AVAILABLE REPORTS </font>
</font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">ORDER EACH REPORT BY NUMBER 
AND NAME ONLY. Note: Always send $5 US currency for each report. CHECKS NOT 
ACCEPTED. </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">ake sure wrapping it in at 
least 2 sheets of paper conceals the cash. On one of those sheets of paper, 
write the number and name of the report you are ordering. Your email address and 
your name and postal address. </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" color="#F8F8F8" size="2" style="line-height: 1.35em">
&nbsp;- - Please click here to be removed, All removal requests are handles as soon as received rdel_addr@excite.com</font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" color="#F8F8F8" size="2" style="line-height: 1.35em">
&nbsp;</font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">PLACE YOUR ORDERS FOR THESE 
REPORTS NOW </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">REPORT #1 &quot;The Insiderâ€™s 
Guide to Advertising for Free on the Net </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Order Report #1 from: </font>
</font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Kenneth Pedersen</font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">1925 Hilltop CT.</span></b></font></font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">Woodstock, Illinois 60098</span></b></font></font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX</font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Order Report #2 from:</font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">REPORT #2: The Insiderâ€™s 
Guide to sending Bulk Email on the Net&quot; </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Miles Anthony</font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">745 Holly Drive, #205 </span></b></font></font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">Glendale, California 91206 </span></b></font>
</font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX</font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Order Report #3 from: </font>
</font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">REPORT #3 &quot;Secrets to 
Multilevel Marketing on the Net&quot; </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">D Neumann </font></font>
</span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">4260 Peachtree Road </span></b></font></font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">Inman, S. Carolina 29349</span></b></font></font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXCXXXXXXXXX </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Order Report #4 from; </font>
</font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">REPORT #4 &quot;How to become a 
Millionaire utilizing MLM and the Net&quot; </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">M Harris </font></font></span>
</b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">4804 Laurel Canyon Blvd. #297 </span></b></font>
</font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">Valley Village, California 91607</span></b></font></font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Order Report #5 from:</font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">REPORT #5 &quot;How to Send Out One 
Million Emails for Free&quot; </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Marie Hopman </font></font>
</span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">9 Sheridan Road est </span></b></font></font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada</span></b></font></font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">T1L 4L6</font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">XXXXXXXXXX </font></font>
</span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">PLEASE REMEMBER THAT YOUR #5 
BILLS ARE GOIN G ALL AROUND THE WORLD AND DELIVERY OF REPORTS COULD TAKE FROM 3 
DAYS TO 2 WEEKS. </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">ALSO REMEMBER TO AFFIX PROPER 
POSTAGE FOR EACH DESTINATION </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">YOUR SUCCESS GUIDELINES </font>
</font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Follow these guidelines to 
guarantee your success. If you do not receive at least 10 orders for Report #1 
within 2 weeks, continue sending emails until you do. After you have received 10 
orders, 2 to 3 weeks after that you should receive 100 orders or more for report 
#2. If you do not, continue advertising or sending emails until you do. Once you 
have received 100 or more orders for Report #2, you can relax because the system 
is already working for you, and the cash will continue to roll in. </font>
</font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">THIS IS IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER
</font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">Every time your name is moved 
down on the list, you are placed in front of a different report. You can keep 
track of your progress by watching which report people are ordering from you. IF 
YOU WANT TO GENERATE MORE INCOME, SEND ANOTHER BATCH OF EMAILS AND START THE 
WHOLE PROCESS AGAIN. </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">There is NO LIMIT to the 
income you can generate with this business. </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXCXXXXXXXXXXXXXX </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">FOLLOWING IS A NOTE FROM THE 
ORIGINATOR OF THIS PROGRAM; </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">You have just received 
information that can give you financial freedon for the rest of your life, with 
NO RISK and JUST A LITTLE BIT OF EFFORT. You can make more </font></font></span>
</b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">money in the next few weeks 
and months than you have ever imagined. Follow the program EXACTLY AS 
INSTRUCTED. DO NOT CHANGE IT IN ANY WAY. It works exceedingly well as it is now. 
Remember to email a copy of this exciting report after you have put your name 
and address in Report #1 and moved other to #2,,,,#5 as instructed above. One of 
the people you send this to may send out 100,000 or more emails and your name 
will be on every one of them. Remember, though, the more you send out the more 
potential customers you will reach. So my friend, I have given you the ideas, 
information, material and opportunity to become financially independent. </font>
</font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">IT IS UP TO YOU NOW. </font>
</font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">MORE TESTIMONALS </font>
</font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">&quot;My name is Mitchell. My wife, Jody and I live in 
Chicago. I am an accountant with a major U.S. Corporation and I make pretty good 
money. When I received this program I grumbled to Jody about receiving &quot;junk 
mail&quot;. I made fun of the whole thing,spouting my knowledge of the population and 
percentages involved. I knew it wouldn`t work. Jody totally ignored my supposed 
intelligence and a few days later jumped in with both feet. I made merciless fun 
of her, and was ready to lay the old &quot;I told you so&quot; on her when the thing 
didn`t work. Well, the laugh was on me. Within 3 weeks, she had received 50 
responses. Within the next 45 days, she had made a total of $147,000.00......All 
cash. I was shocked. have joined Jody in her &quot;hobby&quot;. Mitchell Wolf ..Chicago, 
Illinois </span></b></font></font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">&quot;Not being the gambling type, it took me several 
weeks to make up my mind to participate in this plan. But conservative as I am, 
I decided that the initial investment was so little that there was just no way 
that I wouldn`t get enough orders to at least get my money back. I was surprised 
when I found my medium size post office box crammed with orders. I made 
$319,210.00 in the first 12 weeks. The nice thing about this deal is that it 
does not matter where people live. There simply isnâ€™t a better investment with 
a faster return and so big. Dan Sandstrom, Alberta, Canada </span></b></font>
</font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXZXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX </font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">I had received this program before. I deleted, but 
later I wondered if I should have given it a try. Of course, I had no idea who 
to contact to get another copy, so I had to wait until I was emailed again by 
someone else. ....11 months passed then it luckily came again....I did not 
delete it this time. I made more than $490,000.00 on my first try and all the 
money came within 22 weeks....Susan De Suzan. New York, New York </span></b>
</font></font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">It really is a great opportunity to make relatively 
easy money with little cost to you. I followed the simple instructions carefully 
and within 10 days the money started to come in. My first month I made 
$20,560,00. and by the end of the third month my total cash count was 
$362,840.00. Life is beautiful. Thanks to the Internet. Fred Delia, Westport, 
New Zealand </span></b></font></font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><b>
<span style="COLOR: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="3">
<font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">ORDER YOUR REPORTS TODAY AND 
GET STARTED ON 'YOUR' ROAD TO FINANCIAL FREEDOM.</font></font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt">
<b><span style="color: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" size="3" style="line-height: 1.35em">&nbsp;</font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt">
<b><span style="color: #993366">
<font face="Times New Roman" size="3" style="line-height: 1.35em">&nbsp;</font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt">
- - Please click here to be removed, All removal requests are handles as soon as received rdel_addr@excite.com</p>

</body>

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Date:	Mon, 07 Apr 2003 20:44:58 -0500
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Organization: Humorix World Domination
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Subject: [humorix] Dotcoms Stay Afloat By Pooling Unsolicited Credit Card Offers
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Dotcoms Stay Afloat By Pooling Unsolicited Credit Card Offers
April 7, 2003

SILLYCON VALLEY -- Hugh Suree didn't know what to do.  His
pride and joy, DiscountToiletPaperByMail.com, was about to
go under.  He couldn't afford to pay the company's gourmet
chef anymore.  The luxury cars given as a bonus to every
employee had alrady been sent to the Repo Depot.  Things
had gotten so bad that the company's lifeline and most
important asset -- its T3 line -- was about to be
unplugged.

But then a miracle occured.

Taking advantage of the dozens of unsolicited credit card
offers his business had received over the last few months,
Seree was able to instantly command a $1.5 million credit
line and pay off his debts.

Seree explained, "For years I had gotten snail mail that
read, 'Dear occupant, because of your stellar credit
history, we are pleased to announced you have been
pre-approved for our Gold Bronze VIP Latinum MasterPass(R)
credit card!' I always chucked these offers in the trash
can... until I realized just how much money I could
accumulate for my business if I accepted all of them!"

As an added bonus, Seree has also received 5.4 billion
frequent flier miles, good for a free upgrade to first
class on any flight from San Francisco to Oakland!

"This has been a Godsend," he gushed.  "If it wasn't for
this sudden infusion of cash, I would be back in Arkansas
working at my father's Lard Rendering Plant.  And when the
credit card bills start arriving, I'll simply pay them off
using the new credit cards that I've just  accepted.  What
a deal!"

DiscountToiletPaperByMail.com isn't the only dotcom taking
advantage of unsolicited junk mail. Gull E. Buhl,
co-founder of eMatchMakingForTotalLosers.com, boasted,
"Thanks to all of the free credit available, I have been
able to keep my .com in business for almost 8 months --
that's over 3 times longer than the average dotcom!  Now if
only all of those unsolicited spam offers about penis
enlargment products worked as well as this.  Believe me,
I've tried..."


--
Humorix:      Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note
Archive:      http://mail.nl.linux.org/humorix/
Web site:     http://www.i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/


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<title>Former Marine and long time Touring Professional</title>
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<blockquote>
  <blockquote>
    <blockquote>
      <p align="center"><font color="#F8F8F8">Please send email at this link to be removed rememail@hotmail.com</font></p>
      <p align="center">
      <font face="Times New Roman" size="4" style="line-height: 1.35em">Former 
      Marine and long time Touring Professional, is requesting your support... 
      And in return, will show you:</font></p>
    </blockquote>
  </blockquote>
</blockquote>
<p align="center">
<font face="Times New Roman" color="#ff0000" size="4" style="line-height: 1.35em">
<a target="_blank" href="http://play-golf.v--i.com/">
<font color="#ff0000" style="line-height: 1.35em">&quot;How to Play Golf for Free&quot;</font></a></font></p>
<blockquote>
  <blockquote>
    <p style="text-align: justify"><span style="font-size: 10pt">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; My name is 
    Bob Nicoll... and I am asking you to help me, rally round the children and 
    spouses left<i> </i>behind, while this country is made a safer place to 
    live! I'm asking &quot;<b>you</b>&quot;, to imagine what it must be like to fear for 
    your loved one's life... and inevitably find that your child has lost their 
    father, as is happening over these past few weeks.</span></p>
    <p style="text-align: justify"><font size="2" style="line-height: 1.35em">
    &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; L</font><span style="font-size: 10pt">ives have now been overturned by 
    the&nbsp;new and desperate need, to ensure and protect the freedoms you and I 
    enjoy... and I have seen first hand, in the early 70’s, what affect this has 
    upon the one’s left alone. I can also assure you, that what you don't know 
    about the military wouldn't shock you, but it might make you appreciate 
    these men and women, a damn site more!</span></p>
    <p style="text-align: justify"><span style="font-size: 10pt">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; So please, 
    even if you don't play golf... just tell someone who does about this site! 
    The information is fun and very useful... and I have many friends, who have 
    told me that they feel foolish, for not thinking of this themselves!</span></p>
  </blockquote>
</blockquote>
<p align="center">
<font face="Times New Roman" color="#ff0000" size="4" style="line-height: 1.35em">
<a target="_blank" href="http://play-golf.v--i.com/">
<font color="#ff0000" style="line-height: 1.35em">&quot;How to Play Golf for Free&quot;</font></a></font></p>
<font face="Times New Roman" size="4" style="line-height: 1.35em">
<blockquote>
  <p align="center"></font>
  <font face="Times New Roman" style="line-height: 1.35em">
  <font face="Times New Roman" size="4" style="line-height: 1.35em">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </font>
  <b><font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em">
  <a target="_blank" href="http://play-golf.v--i.com/">
  <font color="#008080" style="line-height: 1.35em">In addition, for your 
  generosity... I've arranged a very special gift to say &quot;Thank You!&quot;</font></a><a style="text-decoration: none" href="http://www.freegolf.bz" target="_blank"><font color="#008080" style="line-height: 1.35em">&nbsp;</font></a></font><font color="#008080" style="line-height: 1.35em">&nbsp;&nbsp;
  </font></b></font></p>
</blockquote>
<font face="Times New Roman" size="6" style="line-height: 1.35em">
<p align="center"><b><i>
<font face="Times New Roman" size="2" style="line-height: 1.35em">Copyright 
2002-03&nbsp; All Rights Reserved...</font></i></b></font><font face="Times New Roman" size="1" style="line-height: 1.35em">
</p>
<blockquote>
  <blockquote>
    <p align="justify">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I sincerely apologize, if you feel that you should 
    not have received this e-mail, and you view the material as &quot;spam!&quot; However, 
    in today's world... and without the assistance of the<b><i> many</i></b>. 
    The <b><i>few</i></b> will one day grow to become the many, who today, we 
    look upon as a &quot;drag on our economy.&quot; It's not politics... It's just the 
    human, and the smart thing to do! Furthermore, no reply is necessary to 
    voice your judgment... as there will be no other following mailer. Simply 
    the praise to those who believe, and cherish our most precious commodity... 
    Our children! Semper Fi...</font><font face="Times New Roman" size="2" style="line-height: 1.35em">
    </p>
    <p align="center">&nbsp;</p>
  </blockquote>
</blockquote>
</font>
<p align="left"><font face="Times New Roman" size="2">Please send email at this link to be removed rememail@hotmail.com</font></p>

</body>

</html>

From AVATAR168@HOTMAIL.COM Thu Apr 17 12:48:04 2003
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From:	AVATAR168@HOTMAIL.COM
Subject: FOOTWEAR REFER TRADE
To:	humorix-archive@nl.linux.org
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<P style="MARGIN-TOP: 5px; WORD-SPACING: 5px; LINE-HEIGHT: 100%" 
align=left><FONT color=#000000><FONT face="Times New Roman"><FONT size=3><FONT 
face="Times New Roman"><FONT color=#000000><SPAN lang=EN-US 
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt"><STRONG>Dear&nbsp;Sirs,</STRONG></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P>
<DIV>
<P class=MsoNormal 
style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan" 
align=left><FONT face="Times New Roman"><FONT color=#000000><SPAN lang=EN-US 
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt"><FONT color=#000000><FONT 
face="Times New Roman"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman"><FONT 
color=#000000><SPAN lang=EN-US 
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt"><STRONG>On the 
recommendation of the online internet , we have learned with pleasure the name 
and mailing address of your firm. We wish to inform you that we specialize 
in&nbsp; manufacturing and exporting of all kinds of Chinese footwear with over 
ten years dealing experience,&nbsp; and shall be glad to enter into business 
relations with you on the basis of equality and mutual 
benefit.</STRONG></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P>
<DIV>
<P class=MsoNormal 
style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto">&nbsp;</P>
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style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><FONT 
face="Times New Roman"><FONT color=#000000><SPAN lang=EN-US 
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt"><STRONG>We make sure that we 
can supply you with our products at a very reasonable price, and also can 
manufacture any kind of shoes based on your specific requirements and in 
full&nbsp;conformity with your samples,&nbsp; should you provide us with 
any.</STRONG></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal 
style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><FONT 
face="Times New Roman"><FONT color=#000000><SPAN lang=EN-US 
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face="Times New Roman"><FONT color=#000000><SPAN lang=EN-US 
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt"><STRONG>To give you a 
general ideal of our products, we are sending you partial sample pictures for 
your reference. If you are of interest in any of the items listed in the 
pictures or further details,&nbsp; please contact us , we shall&nbsp; give our 
prompy attention to all your enquiries.</STRONG></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal 
style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><FONT 
face="Times New Roman"><FONT face=ËÎĚĺ color=#000000 size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US 
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt"></SPAN></FONT></FONT>&nbsp;</P></SPAN></FONT></FONT>
<P class=MsoNormal 
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face="Times New Roman"><FONT color=#000000><SPAN lang=EN-US 
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt"><STRONG>We look forward to 
hearing from you as soon as possible.</STRONG></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P>
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style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><FONT 
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style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt"></SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US 
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt"><?xml:namespace prefix = o 
ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" 
/><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></FONT><STRONG>&nbsp;</STRONG></P>
<P class=MsoNormal 
style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><FONT 
face="Times New Roman"><FONT color=#000000><SPAN lang=EN-US 
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt"><STRONG>Yours 
sincerely</STRONG></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal 
style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><FONT 
face="Times New Roman"><FONT color=#000000><SPAN lang=EN-US 
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt"></SPAN></FONT></FONT>&nbsp;</P>
<P class=MsoNormal 
style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><FONT 
face="Times New Roman"><FONT color=#000000><SPAN lang=EN-US 
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US 
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: ËÎĚĺ; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT 
color=#000000><STRONG>Topaz</STRONG></FONT></SPAN></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P></DIV></FONT></FONT></FONT></SPAN></FONT></FONT></DIV></FONT></FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV id=Layer1 
style="Z-INDEX: 1; LEFT: 5px; WIDTH: 86px; POSITION: absolute; TOP: 33px; HEIGHT: 53px"><IMG 
height=106 src="cid:036401c304a7$6c695dc0$790a10ac@avatar.com" width=113></DIV>
<DIV id=Layer2 
style="Z-INDEX: 2; LEFT: 127px; WIDTH: 199px; POSITION: absolute; TOP: 114px; HEIGHT: 25px"><FONT 
face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size=3><B><FONT 
color=#000000>E-mail:</FONT> <A 
href="mailto:topaz@szonline.net">topaz@szonline.net</A></B></FONT></DIV>
<DIV id=Layer3 
style="Z-INDEX: 3; LEFT: 123px; WIDTH: 561px; POSITION: absolute; TOP: 29px; HEIGHT: 29px"><FONT 
face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" color=#ff0000 size=5><B>AVATAR 
INTERNATIONAL CO., LTD.</B></FONT></DIV>
<DIV id=Layer4 
style="Z-INDEX: 4; LEFT: 127px; WIDTH: 592px; POSITION: absolute; TOP: 88px; HEIGHT: 25px">
<P><FONT face=ËÎĚĺ color=#000000 size=3><B><FONT 
face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size=2>ADD: 4/F, GOLDFIELD HOTEL, SHAZUI 
ROAD, <FONT color=#000000><B>FUTIAN DISTRICT, SHENZHEN 
CHINA</B></FONT></FONT>ˇˇ</B></FONT></P></DIV>
<DIV id=Layer5 
style="Z-INDEX: 5; LEFT: 127px; WIDTH: 422px; POSITION: absolute; TOP: 67px; HEIGHT: 24px"><FONT 
face=ËÎĚĺ color=#000000 size=3><B><FONT face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" 
size=2>TEL: 86-755-83413795&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; ˇˇFAX: 
86-755-83309302</FONT></B></FONT></DIV>
<DIV id=Layer7 
style="Z-INDEX: 7; LEFT: 336px; WIDTH: 195px; POSITION: absolute; TOP: 114px; HEIGHT: 23px"><FONT 
face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size=3><B><A 
href="mailto:avatartopaz@hotmail.com">avatartopaz@hotmail.com</A></B></FONT></DIV>
<P style="MARGIN-TOP: 5px; WORD-SPACING: 5px; LINE-HEIGHT: 100%" 
align=left><FONT color=#000000><FONT face="Times New Roman"><FONT size=3><FONT 
face="Times New Roman"><FONT color=#000000><SPAN lang=EN-US 
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt"><FONT color=#000000><FONT 
face="Times New Roman"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman"><FONT 
color=#000000><SPAN lang=EN-US 
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt"></SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US 
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></FONT><STRONG></STRONG></P>
<DIV>
<DIV>
<DIV><SPAN lang=EN-US 
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: ËÎĚĺ; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT 
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src="cid:036601c304a7$6c695dc0$790a10ac@avatar.com" align=baseline 
border=0></FONT></SPAN></DIV>
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align=baseline border=0></SPAN></DIV>
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From 54e@excite.com Tue Apr 22 22:05:34 2003
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Date:	Tue, 08 Apr 2003 18:09:39 +0000 (GMT)
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Subject: shirleyhonaker5,*** FINANCIAL FREEDOM FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE$$$ ***
To:	shirleyhonaker5@aol.com
Cc:	jfoust@fccsc.k12.in.us, hellokitty@yahoo.com, jpelsor@woh.rr.com,
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        <font color="#F9F9F9">Hi,To be removed from list send request to quick_del@yahoo.com</font><br>
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              <p><b><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em"><br>
              DO NOT DELETE THIS - <u>READ FIRST</u> - IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!</font></b>
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              <p><font size="+2" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">This
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              <p><b><i><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">A One Time 
              Investment Of $25 Plus This Simple Technology</font></i></b> <br>
              <b><i><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">Could Make 
              You Financially Secure For Life!</font></i></b> </p>
              </center>
              <blockquote>
                <p>&nbsp;</p>
                <center>
                <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">Just Because
                <b>This&nbsp; Is Easy</b> doesn't mean it's not <b>Honest</b>, or <b>
                Real Business</b>.&nbsp; Keep <b><br>
                Working Hard</b> or Learn to <b>Work Smart</b>. What do you 
                think Successful People Do?</font> </p>
                </center>
                <p>&nbsp;</p>
                <blockquote>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">This is a 
                  completely documented method to Get Wealthy and Anyone 
                  regardless of Age, Race, State of Health, Country of origin, 
                  or Financial Standing can participate. No Education or Special 
                  Experience is needed. Within the next two weeks you could be 
                  well on your way to a $500,000.00 income. Imagine being able 
                  to make over a half million dollars every 4 to 5 months from 
                  your home.</font> </p>
                </blockquote>
                <p>&nbsp;</p>
                <center>
                <p><b><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">THANKS TO 
                THE COMPUTER AGE AND THE INTERNET</font></b> </p>
                </center>
                <p>&nbsp;</p>
                <p>&nbsp;</p>
                <center>
                <p><b><font size="+1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                AS SEEN ON NATIONAL TV:</font></b> </p>
                </center>
                <p>&nbsp;</p>
                <div align="center">
                  <b><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">PARENTS OF 
                  15 - YEAR OLD - FIND $71,000 CASH HIDDEN IN HIS CLOSET!</font></b></div>
                <blockquote>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">Does this 
                  headline look familiar? Of course it does. You most likely 
                  have just seen this story recently featured on a major nightly 
                  news program (USA). And reported elsewhere in the world. His 
                  mother was cleaning and putting laundry away when she came 
                  across a large brown paper bag that was suspiciously buried 
                  beneath some clothes and a skateboard in the back of her 
                  15-year-old sons closet. Nothing could have prepared her for 
                  the shock she got when she opened the bag and found it was 
                  full of cash. Five-Dollar Bills, Twenties, Fifties and 
                  Hundreds - all neatly rubber-banded in labelled piles.</font>
                  </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">&quot;My first 
                  thought was that he had robbed a bank&quot;, says the 41-year-old 
                  woman, &quot;There was over $71,000 Dollars in that bag -- that's 
                  more than my husband earns in a year&quot;.</font> </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">The woman 
                  immediately called her husband at the car-dealership where he 
                  worked to tell him what she had discovered. He came home right 
                  away, and they drove together to the boys school, and picked 
                  him up. Little did they suspect that where the money came 
                  from, was more shocking than actually finding it in the 
                  closet.</font> </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">As it turns 
                  out, the boy had been sending out, via E-mail, a type of 
                  &quot;Report&quot; to E-mail addresses that he obtained off the 
                  Internet. Everyday after school for the past 2 months, he had 
                  been doing this right on his computer in his bedroom.</font>
                  </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">&quot;I just got 
                  the E-mail one day and I figured what the heck, I put my name 
                  on it like the instructions said and I started sending it 
                  out&quot;, says the clever 15-year-old.</font> </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">The E-mail 
                  letter listed 5 addresses and contained instructions to send 
                  one $5 dollar bill to each person on the list, then delete the 
                  address at the bottom and move the others addresses Down , and 
                  finally to add your name to the top of the list.</font> </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">The letter 
                  goes on to state that you would receive Several Thousand 
                  Dollars in Five-Dollar Bills within 2 weeks if you sent out 
                  the letter with your name at the top of the 5-address list. &quot;I 
                  get junk E-mail all the time, and really did not think it was 
                  going to work&quot;, the boy continues.</font> </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">Within the 
                  first few days of sending out the E-mail, the Post Office Box 
                  that his parents had gotten him for his video-game magazine 
                  subscriptions began to fill up with not magazines, but 
                  envelopes containing $5 Bills.</font> </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">&quot;About a 
                  week later I rode [my bike] down to the post office and my box 
                  had 1 magazine and about 300 envelops stuffed in it. There was 
                  also a yellow slip that said I had to go up to the [post 
                  office] counter. I thought I was in trouble or something 
                  (laughs)&quot;. He goes on, &quot;I went up to the counter and they had 
                  a whole box of more mail for me. I had to ride back home and 
                  empty out my backpack because I could not carry it all&quot;. Over 
                  the next few weeks, the boy continued sending out the E-mail.&quot;The 
                  money just kept coming in and I just kept sorting it and 
                  stashing it in the closet, barely had time for my homework&quot;.He 
                  had also been riding his bike to several of the banks in his 
                  area and exchanging the $5 bills for twenties, fifties and 
                  hundreds.</font> </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">&quot;I didn't 
                  want the banks to get suspicious so I kept riding to different 
                  banks with like five thousand at a time in my backpack. I 
                  would usually tell the lady at the bank counter that my dad 
                  had sent me in to exchange the money and he was outside 
                  waiting for me.One time the lady gave me a really strange look 
                  and told me that she would not be able to do it for me and my 
                  dad would have to come in and do it, but I just rode to the 
                  next bank down the street (laughs).&quot; Surprisingly, the boy did 
                  not have any reason to be afraid.The reporting news team 
                  examined and investigated the so-called &quot;chain-letter&quot; the boy 
                  was sending out and found that it was not a chain-letter at 
                  all.In fact, it was completely legal according to US Postal 
                  and Lottery Laws, Title 18, Section 1302 and 1341, or Title 
                  18, Section 3005 in the US code, also in the code of federal 
                  regulations, Volume 16, Sections 255 and 436, which state a 
                  product or service must be exchanged for money received.</font>
                  </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">Every 
                  five-dollar bill that he received contained a little note that 
                  read, &quot;Please send me report number XYX&quot;.This simple note made 
                  the letter legal because he was exchanging a service (A Report 
                  on how-to) for a five-dollar fee.</font> </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">[This is the 
                  end of the media release. If you would like to understand how 
                  the system works and get your $71,000 plus - please continue 
                  reading. What appears below is what the 15 year old was 
                  sending out on the net - YOU CAN USE IT TOO - just follow the 
                  simple instructions].</font> <br>
                  <br>
                  <br>
&nbsp;</p>
                  <p>&nbsp;</p>
                  <p><b><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">BE AN 
                  INTERNET MILLIONAIRE LIKE OTHERS&nbsp; WITHIN A YEAR!!!</font></b>
                  </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em"><b>Before 
                  you say ''Bull'', please read the following.</b> This is the 
                  letter you have been hearing about on the news lately. Due to 
                  the popularity of this letter on the Internet, a national 
                  weekly news program recently devoted an entire show to the 
                  investigation of this program described below, to see if it 
                  really can make people money. The show also investigated 
                  whether or not the program was legal.</font> </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">Their 
                  findings proved once and for all that there are ''absolutely 
                  NO Laws prohibiting the participation in the program and if 
                  people can &quot;follow the simple instruction&quot; they are bound to 
                  make some mega bucks with only $25 out of pocket cost''.</font>
                  </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">DUE TO THE 
                  RECENT INCREASE OF POPULARITY &amp; RESPECT THIS PROGRAM HAS 
                  ATTAINED, IT IS CURRENTLY WORKING BETTER THAN EVER.</font> </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">This is what 
                  one had to say:&nbsp;</font> <br>
&nbsp;</p>
                  <blockquote>
                    <p><i>
                    <font color="#3366ff" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                    ''Thanks to this profitable opportunity&quot;. I was approached 
                    many times before but each time I passed on it. I am so glad 
                    I finally joined just to see what one could expect in return 
                    for the minimal effort and money required. To my 
                    astonishment, I received a total $ 610,470.00 in 21 weeks, 
                    with money still coming in''.</font></i> </p>
                    <p><b><i>
                    <font color="#3366ff" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                    <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em">Pam Hedland</font></font></i></b>
                    <br>
                    <b><i>
                    <font color="#3366ff" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                    <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em">Fort Lee, New 
                    Jersey.</font></font></i></b> </p>
                  </blockquote>
                </blockquote>
                <hr width="600" noShade style="color: teal; height: 1px">
                <blockquote>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">Another 
                  said:</font> </p>
                  <blockquote>
                    <p><i>
                    <font color="#3366ff" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                    &quot;This program has been around for a long time but I never 
                    believed in it. But one day when I received this again in 
                    the mail I decided to gamble my $25 on it. I followed the 
                    simple instructions and Wa-laa ..... 3 weeks later the money 
                    started to come in. First month I only made $240.00 but the 
                    next 2 months after that I made a total of $290,000.00. So 
                    far, in the past 8 months by re-entering the program, I have 
                    made over $710,000.00 and I am playing it again. The key to 
                    success in this program is to follow the simple steps and 
                    NOT change anything.&quot;</font></i></p>
                  </blockquote>
                  <p><br>
                  <font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">More 
                  testimonials later but first...</font> </p>
                </blockquote>
              </blockquote>
              <p><br>
&nbsp;</p>
              <center>
              <p><b><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">PRINT THIS 
              NOW FOR YOUR FUTURE REFERENCE<br>
              </font></b><br>
&nbsp;</p>
              </center><hr width="85%" style="color: teal; height: 1px"><center>
              <p><b>
              <font color="#ff0000" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">If 
              you would like to make at least $500,000 every 4 to 5 months 
              easily and</font></b> <br>
              <b><font color="#ff0000" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
              comfortably, please read the following...THEN READ IT AGAIN and 
              AGAIN !!!</font></b> </p>
              </center><hr width="85%" style="color: teal; height: 1px"><center>
              <p><b><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">FOLLOW THE 
              SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS BELOW&nbsp;</font></b> <br>
              <b><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">AND YOUR 
              FINANCIAL DREAMS WILL COME TRUE!</font></b> </p>
              </center>
              <blockquote>
                <blockquote>
                  <p><b><i><u><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">
                  INSTRUCTIONS:</font></u></i></b> </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">
                  <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em">For each report, 
                  send $5 CASH, THE NAME &amp; NUMBER OF THE REPORT YOU ARE ORDERING 
                  and YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS to the person whose name appears ON 
                  THAT LIST next to the report. MAKE SURE YOUR RETURN ADDRESS IS 
                  ON YOUR ENVELOPE TOP LEFT CORNER in case of any mail problems</font>.</font></p>
                </blockquote>
              </blockquote>
              <center>
              <p><br>
              <b><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">WHEN YOU PLACE 
              YOUR ORDER,&nbsp;</font></b> <br>
              <b><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">MAKE SURE YOU 
              ORDER EACH OF THE 5 REPORTS!&nbsp;</font></b> </p>
              </center>
              <blockquote>
                <blockquote>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">You will 
                  need all 5 reports so that you can save them on your computer 
                  and resell them.</font> </p>
                  <p>&nbsp;</p>
                  <center>
                  <p><b><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">YOUR 
                  TOTAL COST $5 X 5 = $25.00</font></b> <br>
                  <font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">(That's what I 
                  spend every time I take my girlfriend to the movies)</font>
                  </p>
                  </center>
                  <p>&nbsp;</p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">Within a few 
                  days <b>you will receive, via e-mail, each of the 5 reports 
                  from these 5 different individuals.</b> Save them on your 
                  computer so they will be accessible for you to send to the 
                  1,000's of people who will order them from you. Also make a 
                  floppy of these reports and keep it in your desk in case 
                  something happens to your computer.</font> </p>
                  <p><br>
                  <b><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">IMPORTANT:</font></b>
                  </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em"><b>DO NOT</b> 
                  alter the names of the people who are listed next to each 
                  report, or their sequence on the list, in any way other than 
                  what is instructed below in step '' 1 through 6 '' or you will 
                  loose out on the majority of your profits. Once you understand 
                  the way this works, you will also see how it does not work if 
                  you change it. Remember, this method has been tested, and <b>
                  if you alter it, it will NOT work !!!</b> People have tried to 
                  put their friends/relatives names on all five thinking they 
                  could get all the money. But it does not work this way. 
                  Believe us, some have tried to be greedy and then nothing 
                  happened. So Do Not try to change anything other than what is 
                  instructed. Because if you do, it will not work for you. 
                  Remember, <b><u>Honesty Reaps The Reward!!!&nbsp;</u></b></font></p>
                </blockquote>
                <div align="center">
                  <b><i><u>
                  <font color="#3333ff" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                  <font size="+1" style="line-height: 1.35em">This IS a 
                  legitimate BUSINESS.&nbsp;</font></font></u></i></b><font size="+1" style="line-height: 1.35em"><b><i><u><font color="#3333ff" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">You 
                  are offering <br>
                  a product for sale and getting paid for it.&nbsp;</font></u></i></b>
                  </font><center>
                  <p><br>
                  <b><i>
                  <font color="#cc0000" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                  Treat it as such and you will be VERY profitable in a short 
                  period of time</font></i></b> </p>
                  </center>
                </div>
              </blockquote>
              <div align="center">
                <blockquote>
                  <div align="left">
&nbsp;</div>
                  <blockquote>
                    <li>
                    <div align="left">
                      <font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">After you 
                      have ordered all 5 reports, take this advertisement and 
                      REMOVE the name &amp; address of the person in REPORT # 5. 
                      This person has made it through the cycle and is no doubt 
                      counting their fortune. Email them and ask that's what I 
                      always did.</font></div>
                    </li>
                    <li>
                    <div align="left">
                      <font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">Move the 
                      name &amp; address in REPORT # 4 down TO REPORT # 5.</font></div>
                    </li>
                    <li>
                    <div align="left">
                      <font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">Move the 
                      name &amp; address in REPORT # 3 down TO REPORT # 4.</font></div>
                    </li>
                    <li>
                    <div align="left">
                      <font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">Move the 
                      name &amp; address in REPORT # 2 down TO REPORT # 3.</font></div>
                    </li>
                    <li>
                    <div align="left">
                      <font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">Move the 
                      name &amp; address in REPORT # 1 down TO REPORT # 2</font></div>
                    </li>
                    <li>
                    <div align="left">
                      <font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">Insert YOUR 
                      name &amp; address in the REPORT # 1 Position.</font></div>
                    </li>
                  </blockquote>
                  <p><br>
                  <font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em"><b>PLEASE MAKE 
                  SURE</b> you copy every name &amp; address <b>ACCURATELY</b></font>
                  <br>
                  <font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">(Just cut and 
                  paste! This is critical to <b>YOUR </b>success.</font> </p>
                </blockquote>
                <center>
                <p><font color="#F9F9F9">Hi,To be removed from list send request to quick_del@yahoo.com</font></p>
                </center>
              </div>
              <center>
              <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">Take this entire 
              letter, with the modified list of names, and save it on your 
              computer.</font> </p>
              <p><b><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">DO NOT MAKE 
              ANY OTHER CHANGES</font></b> </p>
              </center>
              <blockquote>
                <blockquote>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em"><b>Save this 
                  on a disk as well just in case if you loose any data</b>. To 
                  assist you with marketing your business on the internet, the 5 
                  reports you purchase will provide you with invaluable 
                  marketing information which includes how to send bulk e-mails 
                  legally, where to find thousands of free classified ads and 
                  much more. There are 2 Primary methods to get this venture 
                  going:</font></p>
                </blockquote>
              </blockquote>
              <p align="center"><br>
              <b><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">METHOD # 1: BY 
              SENDING BULK E-MAIL LEGALLY</font></b> </p>
              <blockquote>
                <blockquote>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">Let's say 
                  that you decide to start small, just to see how it goes, and 
                  we will assume You and those involved send out only 5,000 
                  e-mails each. Let's also assume</font> </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">that the 
                  mailing receives only a 0.2% (2/10 of 1%) response (the 
                  response could be much better but lets just say it is only 
                  0.2%). Also many people will send out hundreds of thousands 
                  e-mails instead of only 5,000 each). Continuing with this 
                  example, you send out only 5,000 e-mails.</font> </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">With a 0.2% 
                  response, that is only 10 orders for report # 1. Those 10 
                  people responded by sending out 5,000 e-mail each for a total 
                  of 50,000. Out of those 50,000 e-mails only 0.2% responded 
                  with orders. That's=100 people responded and ordered Report # 
                  2.</font> </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">Those 100 
                  people mail out 5,000 e-mails each for a total of 500,000 
                  e-mails. The 0.2% response to that is 1000 orders for Report # 
                  3.</font> </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">Those 1000 
                  people send 5,000 e-mail each for a total of 5 million e-mail 
                  sent out. The 0.2% response is 10,000 orders for Report # 4.</font>
                  </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">Those 10,000 
                  people send out 5,000 e-mails each for a total of 50,000,000 
                  (50 million) e-mails. The 0.2% response to that is 100,000 
                  orders for Report # 5.</font> </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">THAT'S 
                  100,000 ORDERS TIMES $5 EACH = $500,000.00 (half a million 
                  dollars).</font> </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">Your total 
                  income in this example is: 1... $50 + 2..... $500 + 3..... 
                  $5,000 + 4..... $50,000 + 5....$500,000 .... Grand 
                  Total=$555,550.00</font> </p>
                </blockquote>
              </blockquote>
              <p>&nbsp;</p>
              <center>
              <p><b>
              <font color="#ff0000" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
              <font size="+1" style="line-height: 1.35em">NUMBERS DO NOT LIE</font></font></b>
              </p>
              </center>
              <p>&nbsp;</p>
              <blockquote>
                <blockquote>
                  <p><b>
                  <font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                  <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em">GET A PENCIL &amp; 
                  PAPER AND FIGURE OUT THE WORST POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND NO 
                  MATTER HOW YOU CALCULATE IT, YOU WILL STILL MAKE A LOT OF 
                  MONEY! (I did it was $55,000 in four months)</font></font></b>
                  </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">REMEMBER, 
                  THIS IS ASSUMING ONLY 10 PEOPLE ORDERING OUT OF 5,000 YOU 
                  MAILED TO. Dare to think for a moment what would happen if 
                  everyone or half or even one 4th of those people mailed 
                  100,000 e-mails each or more? There are 580.78 million people 
                  on the Internet worldwide and counting, with thousands of more 
                  coming on line every day.&nbsp;</font> </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">Believe me, 
                  there isn't any better way to make money!</font> </p>
                </blockquote>
              </blockquote>
              <p>&nbsp;</p>
              <center>
              <p><b><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">METHOD # 2: 
              BY PLACING FREE ADS ON THE INTERNET</font></b> </p>
              </center>
              <p>&nbsp;</p>
              <blockquote>
                <blockquote>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">Advertising 
                  on the net is very, very inexpensive and there are hundreds of 
                  FREE places to advertise. Placing a lot of free ads on the 
                  Internet will easily get a larger response. We strongly 
                  suggest you start with Method # 1 and add METHOD #2 as you go 
                  along. For every $5 you receive, all you must do is e-mail 
                  them the Report they ordered. That's it. Always provide same 
                  day service on all orders.</font> </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">This will 
                  guarantee that the e-mail they send out, with your name and 
                  address on it, will be prompt because they can not advertise 
                  until they receive the report.</font> </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">The reason 
                  for the &quot;cash&quot; is not because this is illegal or somehow 
                  &quot;wrong&quot;. It is simply about time. Time for checks or credit 
                  cards to be cleared or approved, etc. Concealing it is simply 
                  so no one can SEE there is money in the envelope and steal it 
                  before it gets to you.</font> </p>
                </blockquote>
                <p>&nbsp;</p>
                <center>
                <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em"><b>ORDER EACH 
                REPORT BY ITS NUMBER &amp; NAME ONLY</b>.</font> </p>
                </center>
                <p>&nbsp;</p>
                <blockquote>
                  <p><b><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">Notes:</font></b>
                  </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">Always send 
                  $5 cash (U.S. CURRENCY) for each Report. Checks NOT accepted. 
                  Make sure the cash is concealed by wrapping it in at least 2 
                  sheets of paper or foil will also work. On one of those sheets 
                  of paper, write the NUMBER &amp; the NAME of the Report you are 
                  ordering, YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS and your name and postal 
                  address.</font> </p>
                </blockquote>
              </blockquote>
              <center>
              <p><b><font size="+1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
              AVAILABLE REPORTS</font></b> <br>
              <b><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">PLACE YOUR ORDER 
              FOR THESE REPORTS NOW:<br>
              </font></b><br>
&nbsp;</p>
              <table class="center" width="80%">
                <tr>
                  <td class="left" width="30%">&nbsp;</td>
                  <td style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-small">
                  <b><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">
                  <div>
                    <br>
                    REPORT #1:&nbsp;</font></b> <br>
                    <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                    &quot;The Insider's Guide To Advertising For Free On The Net&quot;&nbsp;</font>
                    <br>
                    <b>
                    <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial,Helvetica">
                    Order Report #1 From:</font></b></div>
                  <div>
                    <b>
                    <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial,Helvetica">
                    </font></b>&nbsp;</div>
                  <div>
                    <b>
                    <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial,Helvetica">
                    &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;N.Dass</font></b></div>
                  <div>
                    <font face="Arial" size="2" style="line-height: 1.35em">
                    &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<strong># 108 country Village Bay N.E</strong></font></div>
                  <div>
                    <font face="Arial" size="2" style="line-height: 1.35em">
                    <strong>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Calgary, Alberta, Canada</strong></font></div>
                  <div>
                    <font face="Arial" size="2" style="line-height: 1.35em">
                    <strong>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; T3K 5J8</strong></font></div>
                  <div>
                    <hr width="350" style="color: teal; height: 1px">
                  </div>
                  <div>
                    <br>
                    <b><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">REPORT #2:</font></b>
                    <br>
                    <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                    &quot;The Insider's Guide To Sending Bulk E-mail On The Net&quot;</font>
                    <br>
                    <b><font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                    Order Report #2 Fro</font></b></div>
                  <div>
                    <b>
                    <font face="Arial,Helvetica" style="line-height: 1.35em" size="-1">
                    <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
                    </font></font></b>
                  </div>
                  <div>
                    <b><font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                    <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial,Helvetica">
                    &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; S. Sinclair</font>&nbsp;<br>
                    <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial,Helvetica">
                    &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Idunsgatan 27</font> <br>
                    <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial,Helvetica">
                    &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; S-214 46 Malmö</font>&nbsp;<br>
                    <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial,Helvetica">
                    &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Sweden</font></div>
                  </font></b><hr width="350" style="color: teal; height: 1px">
                  <p><br>
                  <b><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">REPORT #3:</font></b>
                  <br>
                  <font color="#000000" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                  <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em">&quot;Secret To 
                  Multilevel Marketing On The Net&quot;</font></font> <br>
                  <b><font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                  Order Report #3 From:</font></b> </p>
                  <blockquote>
                    <div>
                      <b>
                      <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                      <div>
                        <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                        Alfred and Ann W.</font> <br>
                        <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                        7623-94 A Avenue</font> <br>
                        <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                        Edmonton, Alberta, Canada</font> <br>
                        <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                        T6C 1X2</font></div>
                      </font></b>
                    </div>
                  </blockquote>
                  <hr width="350" style="color: teal; height: 1px">
                  <p><br>
                  <b><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">REPORT #4:</font></b>
                  <br>
                  <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">&quot;How 
                  To Become A Millionaire Utilizing MLM &amp; The Net&quot;</font> <br>
                  <b><font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                  Order Report #4 From:</font></b> </p>
                  <blockquote>
                    <div>
                      <b>
                      <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                      <div>
                        <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                        D. Als</font> <br>
                        <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                        34-43 60th Street #3E</font> <br>
                        <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                        Woodside, NY 11377</font></div>
                      </font></b>
                    </div>
                  </blockquote>
                  <hr width="350" style="color: teal; height: 1px">
                  <p><br>
                  <b><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">REPORT #5:</font></b>
                  <br>
                  <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">&quot;How 
                  To Safely Send 2 Million Emails For Virtually No Money&quot;</font>
                  <br>
                  <b><font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                  Order Report #5 From:&nbsp;</font></b> </p>
                  <blockquote>
                    <div>
                      <b>
                      <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                      V. Low</font></b> <br>
                      <b>
                      <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                      P.O. Box 693</font></b> <br>
                      <b>
                      <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                      Boiling Springs, NC 28017</font></b></div>
                    <p><br>
&nbsp;</p>
                  </blockquote>
                  </td>
                </tr>
              </table>
              </center>
              <blockquote>
                <blockquote>
                  <p>&nbsp;</p>
                  <center>
                  <p><b><font size="3" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                  There are currently more than 570,000,000 people online 
                  worldwide!</font></b> </p>
                  </center>
                  <p>&nbsp;</p>
                </blockquote>
                <p>&nbsp;</p>
                <center>
                <p><b>
                <font color="#ff0000" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                <font size="+2" style="line-height: 1.35em">$$$$$$$ YOUR SUCCESS 
                GUIDELINES $$$$$$$</font></font></b> </p>
                </center>
                <p>&nbsp;</p>
                <blockquote>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">Follow these 
                  guidelines to guarantee your success:</font> </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">If you do 
                  not receive at least 10 orders for Report #1 within 2 weeks, 
                  continue sending e-mails until you do.</font> </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">After you 
                  have received 10 orders, 2 to 3 weeks after that you should 
                  receive 100 orders or more for REPORT # 2. If you did not, 
                  continue advertising or sending e-mails until you do.</font>
                  </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">**Once you 
                  have received 100 or more orders for Report# 2, YOU CAN RELAX, 
                  because the system is already working for you, and the cash 
                  will continue to roll in! THIS IS IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER: Every 
                  time your name is moved down on the list, you are placed in 
                  front of a Different report.</font> </p>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">You can KEEP 
                  TRACK of your PROGRESS by watching which report people are 
                  ordering from you. IF YOU WANT TO GENERATE MORE INCOME SEND 
                  ANOTHER BATCH OF E-MAILS AND START THE WHOLE PROCESS AGAIN. 
                  There is NO LIMIT to the income you can generate from this 
                  business!!!</font> </p>
                </blockquote>
              </blockquote>
              <p>&nbsp;</p>
              <center>
              <p><b><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">FOLLOWING IS 
              A NOTE FROM THE ORIGINATOR OF THIS PROGRAM:</font></b> </p>
              </center>
              <p>&nbsp;</p>
              <blockquote>
                <blockquote>
                  <p><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">You have 
                  just received information that can give you financial freedom 
                  for the rest of your life, with NO RISK and JUST A LITTLE BIT 
                  OF EFFORT. You can make more money in the next few weeks and 
                  months than you have ever imagined. Follow the program EXACTLY 
                  AS INSTRUCTED. Do not change it in any way. It works 
                  exceedingly well as it is now. Remember to e-mail a copy of 
                  this exciting report after you have put your name and address 
                  in Report #1 and moved others to #2...# 5 as instructed above. 
                  One of the people you send this to may send out 100,000 or 
                  more e-mails and your name will be on every one of them. (Just 
                  to let you know anyone who sends money to Cole Schulte (me) I 
                  send out least 5 million a month, there are bulk emails 
                  companies you can hire and they do all the work for you...) 
                  Remember though, the more you send out the more potential 
                  customers you will reach. So my friend, I have given you the 
                  ideas, information, materials and opportunity to become 
                  financially independent. IT IS UP TO YOU NOW!</font> </p>
                </blockquote>
              </blockquote>
              <div align="center">
                <b><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">MORE 
                TESTIMONIALS</font></b>
              </div>
              <blockquote>
                <blockquote>
                  <blockquote>
                    <p><i>
                    <font color="#3366ff" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                    &quot;My name is Mitchell. My wife, Jody and I live in Chicago. I 
                    am an accountant with a major U.S.Corporation and I make 
                    pretty good money. When I received this program I grumbled 
                    to Jody about receiving 'junk mail'. I made fun of the whole 
                    thing, spouting my knowledge of the population and 
                    percentages involved. I 'knew' it wouldn't work. Jody 
                    totally ignored my supposed intelligence and few days later 
                    she jumped in with both feet. I made merciless fun of her, 
                    and was ready to lay the old 'I told you so' on her when the 
                    thing didn't work. Well, the laugh was on me! Within 3 weeks 
                    she had received 50 responses. Within the next 45 days she 
                    had received total $ 147,200.00 ........ all cash! I was 
                    shocked. I have joined Jody in her 'hobby'.&quot;</font></i> </p>
                    <p><b><i>
                    <font color="#3366ff" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                    Mitchell Wolf M.D.,</font></i></b> <br>
                    <b><i>
                    <font color="#3366ff" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                    Chicago, Illinois</font></i></b></p>
                  </blockquote>
                </blockquote>
                <center><hr width="85%" style="color: teal; height: 1px">
                </center>
                <blockquote>
                  <blockquote>
                    <p><i>
                    <font color="#3366ff" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                    &quot;Not being the gambling type, it took me several weeks to 
                    make up my mind to participate in this plan. But 
                    conservative as I am, I decided that the initial investment 
                    was so little that there was just no way that I wouldn't get 
                    enough orders to at least get my money back. I was surprised 
                    when I found my medium size post office box crammed with 
                    orders. I made $319,210.00 in the first 12 weeks. The nice 
                    thing about this deal is that it does not matter where 
                    people live. There simply isn't a better investment with a 
                    faster return and so big&quot;.</font></i> </p>
                    <p><b><i>
                    <font color="#3366ff" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                    Dan Sondstrom,</font></i></b> <br>
                    <b><i>
                    <font color="#3366ff" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                    Alberta, Canada</font></i></b></p>
                  </blockquote>
                </blockquote>
              </blockquote>
              <hr width="85%" style="color: teal; height: 1px">
              <blockquote>
                <blockquote>
                  <blockquote>
                    <p><i>
                    <font color="#3366ff" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                    &quot;I had received this program before. I deleted it, but later 
                    I wondered if I should have given it a try. Of course, I had 
                    no idea who to contact to get another copy, so I had to wait 
                    until I was e-mailed again by someone else........11 months 
                    passed then it luckily came again...... I did not delete 
                    this one! I made more than $490,000 on my first try and all 
                    the money came within 22 weeks&quot;.</font></i> </p>
                    <p><b><i>
                    <font color="#3366ff" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                    Susan De Suza,</font></i></b> <br>
                    <b><i>
                    <font color="#3366ff" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                    New York, N.Y.</font></i></b></p>
                  </blockquote>
                </blockquote>
              </blockquote>
              <hr width="85%" style="color: teal; height: 1px">
              <blockquote>
                <blockquote>
                  <blockquote>
                    <p><i>
                    <font color="#3366ff" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                    &quot;It really is a great opportunity to make relatively easy 
                    money with little cost to you. I followed the simple 
                    instructions carefully and within 10 days the money started 
                    to come in. My first month I made $ 20,560.00 and by the end 
                    of third month my total cash count was $ 362,840.00. Life is 
                    beautiful, Thanx to the internet&quot;.</font></i> </p>
                    <p><b><i>
                    <font color="#3366ff" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                    Fred Dellaca,</font></i></b> <br>
                    <b><i>
                    <font color="#3366ff" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                    Westport, New Zealand</font></i></b></p>
                  </blockquote>
                  <hr width="85%" style="color: teal; height: 1px">
                </blockquote>
                <div align="center">
                  <b><font size="3" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                  ORDER YOUR REPORTS TODAY, GET STARTED ON YOUR ROAD TO</font></b><p>
                  <b><font size="+2" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
                  FINANCIAL FREEDOM!</font></b>
                </div>
              </blockquote>
              <p align="center"><i>
              <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">If you 
              have any questions as to the legality of this program, contact the 
              Office of</font></i> <br>
              <i><font face="Arial" style="line-height: 1.35em">
              <font size="-1" style="line-height: 1.35em">Associate Director for 
              Marketing Practices, Bureau of Consumer Protection, Washington, 
              D.C</font>.</font></i> </p>
              <p>
              <font color="#ffffff" size="-2" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
              This message is sent in compliance of the proposed bill SECTION 
              301, paragraph (a)(2)(C) of S. 1618.</font>
              <font color="#ffffff" style="line-height: 1.35em"><br>
              <font size="-2" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">to be 
              removed from this mailing, please utilize </font></font>
              <font color="#ffffff" size="-2" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">
              This message is sent in compliance of the proposed bill SECTION 
              301, paragraph (a)(2)(C) of S. 1618.</font>
              <font color="#ffffff" style="line-height: 1.35em"><br>
              <font size="-2" style="line-height: 1.35em" face="Arial">to be 
              removed from this mailing, please utili</font></font></td>
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          &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
          <font color="#ffffff" size="1" style="line-height: 1.35em">our </font>
          <a href="http://482.48.84.71-arnrl-htlwbf-jjklk.htm@218.5.79.215/remove.html?redirect=angelfire.lycos.com/yhzyiywwe/dbrnuuwwcc/gsbhtv.htm" target="_blank">
          <font size="1" style="line-height: 1.35em">remove link here</font></a><font face="Times New Roman" size="3" style="line-height: 1.35em">
          </font></font></xbody>
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From humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org Wed Apr 23 04:42:55 2003
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Date:	Tue, 22 Apr 2003 20:28:36 -0500
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Subject: [humorix] Bloated Open Source Projects Receive Surprise Grant Money
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Bloated Open Source Projects Receive Surprise Grant Money
April 22, 2003

SILLYCON VALLEY, CA -- In a major coup for the Linux
community, Enntel Corporation has agreed to give $20
million worth of grants over the next three years to
various open source projects that rely heavily on CPU
power.

"Right now there's little incentive for people to rush out
and buy computers with faster CPUs," explained CEO John
Enntel.  "But if bloated, CPU-intensive, eye-candy-enhanced
projects like Mozilla or GNOME become popular, then our CPU
sales will skyrocket.   This $20 million is not an act of
altruism -- it's an investment."

John Enntel came up with the idea after talking with his
mother one day. "She keeps telling me that her 200 Mhz
Enntium I machine works just fine for running Word or
playing Solitaire," he explained. "Last month she told me,
'The only thing good about an expensive three gigawhatever
machine is that it  crashes more quickly!'"

"I had nightmares every night the following week," Enntel
admitted. "What if millions of mothers and grandmothers
were thinking the same thing?  What if they refused to buy
new computers with our state-of-the-art Enntium IV and
Qualeron I?  Oh the horror!"

Investing in open source, however, neatly solves the
problem. "You try to run Mozilla on a vintage EnntiumSX
processor from 1997 and it's going to run about as quickly
as molasses on Pluto. Even an Enntel Ennside Pro chip from
'99 struggles to run GNOME at a reasonable speed..."

A spokesperson for the Mozilla project was ecstatic about
the news. "For years people told us that Mozilla was too
bloated.  'Who needs a fscking chat client in a web
browser?' critics would scream. Well, now that bloat is
paying off.  Our efforts have helped to spur demand for
faster hardware, and that in turn is helping the economy.
The din of a million keyboards can't be wrong."

It's not clear how the money will be distributed, although
John Enntel points out that he doesn't really want it to be
used for optimizing code. "The last thing I want is for
GNOME to hire some genius that is able to speed up the
whole system 30% by inserting a single line of code.  That
would defeat the whole purpose.  Instead, I want more
bloat, more eye candy, more kitchen sinks, more...
everything."


--
Humorix:      Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note
Archive:      http://mail.nl.linux.org/humorix/
Web site:     http://www.i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/


From info@womensinstitutes.com Thu Apr 24 03:34:53 2003
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	 Wed, 23 Apr 2003 21:33:34 -0400
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Subject: Bush pays tribute to the troops
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Dear Friend  Friend,
	For Immediate Release

Op-ed page editor

Melinda Pillsbury-Foster

(805) 569-0421

mpf@womensinstitutes.com


''We pray that God will bless and receive each of the fallen, and we thank God that liberty found such brave defenders,'' President Bush on the first casualties from the War in Iraq. (Hypocrisy comes in all tones and flavors. Here is some of the Republican kind. Democrats are no different but just now they are less abuse-abled.) 

Rene needed a wheel chair for her son, a Vietnam Vet who is confined to a care facility because he is a paraplegic. The Veterans Administration told Rene they could get her a wheel chair she could lift. It would just take five years. Five years before Rene, an elderly woman, could hope to take her son on outings since she could not lift the chair that the VA had provided. 

Cuts by Congress have immediate impacts on the lives of Americans who have given the best of their lives to their country. 

Rene cried. She knew that in five years she might well be dead. 

When our soldiers put their lives on the line our debt does not die with the 21-gun salute. We are a wealthy nation and their service exacts an obligation of honor from each of us. 

Soldiers have families who need to survive while those they love are in danger of death. While so many are at risk doing the bidding of their government the Congress that sent them is voting to cut $24.7 billion for veterans’ medical care, disability compensation and other benefits and congratulated themselves on their thrift. 

Congress, that body so quick to stand up for its own pay, retirement and benefits is buttering its own bread and stealing the crust from the mouths of those who serve. They whine about how tough it is when they experience that bad day in the posh Congressional dining room; they whimper about how hard it is to make it on the most lavish benefit package the world has ever seen. Then they vote to cut benefits to disabled veterans. 

If you are a real American you need to understand what they are doing while the eyes of America’s concern are firmly on our troops in Iraq. 

Pickpockets depend on distraction. 

Slipped into legislation with the experienced slight of hand wielded by these pickpockets of privilege, the Congress, in cooperation with the Bush Administration, are cuts to the slim funding now allowed to those who truly serve. These reductions slash past the bone into the pittance now allowed to those on active service and to veterans. Not satisfied that military families are on welfare the Congress seeks to grind them into abject poverty and abandon them to insolvent old age and disease. 

You can trust the government to do two things; make sure that their own personal pockets are lined and that everyone else pays. 

Doris is the wife of a sergeant on active duty. He is in the Gulf. She cannot afford to feed their children on what the Army pays. These well-mannered children struggle to help her cut costs. No second helpings are requested at their table. They understand that pennies are not to be wasted. Doris cries because, along with the terrible uncertainty of a husband at risk comes the sadness of being unable to buy balloons for her child’s birthday party or call her mother. Toll calls are too expensive on her slim budget. Her mother is dying along with her faith in her country. 

It is not all bad news. The same people who originally established services for American Veterans bought Rene a wheelchair she could handle. Now she takes her son on those small journeys into the sunlight. Doris has balloons for the party. 

But not because of Congress. 

The Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks established the first hospital for America’s veterans just after W W I. No money from Congress was involved. Now, local lodges raise money as individual Elks reach into their own pockets. Rene went to them. They heard her. Rene had her wheelchair in one week. Toney Russell, the Chairman for Veterans in Santa Barbara, where Rene and her son both live, made sure it happened. I contributed. It was the least I could do. Her son fought for me, too. My daughter skimped to send money to Doris for the party. Individual Americans see what must be done and do it because it is the right thing. 

Thank God for real Americans. 

Congress is still working on the least it can do. Less for everyone else - more for them. That is one goal they always manage to accomplish. The right thing is obviously way beyond them. They have problem understanding such esoteric concepts as ‘honor’ and ‘justice.’ 

Real Americans should send a message even Congress can't ignore. 

No member of Congress should have a benefit package better than is given to our armed forces. No member of Congress or any administration should enjoy benefits denied to those who risk their lives to give us freedom. Cutting benefits to Congress would save money and send a powerful message to these purveyors of privilege who abuse power every day of their lives. 

And instead of a Congressional dining room let them eat MacDonald’s. But no Happy Meal toys, that is far too good for them. 

"END" 

Melinda Pillsbury-Foster is the President of the Women's Institute for Individual and Political Justice, a nonprofit foundation based in Santa Barbara working on alternative approaches to problems such as domestic violence





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US Launches "Shock And Awe" Campaign To Rid The World Of Open Source
April 23, 2003

"According to the domino theory, once a country turns Red
Hat, they never go back..."
-- U.S. Senator Bob McSlarthy

WASHINGTON -- After discovering a cache of Mandrake CDs in
a bunker underneath Saddam's 419th palace, the White House
wasted no time in declaring Open Source a terrorist threat
and spearheading a strategy to kill -9 it from the face of
the earth.

"By distributing stable, highly secure software for free
across the globe, Open Source allows capable nation-states
the ability to create computer networks totally invicible
against our Echelon, Carnivore, and other
soon-to-be-unleased systems that we aren't supposed to
have," explained an anonymous source at some three-letter
government bureaucracy.

At a briefing held earlier today in the White House
Situation Room, President Dubya presented a color-coded map
showing the countries where Linux, Apache, and other free
software projects have most the penetration.

While pointing to several countries shaded in red, Dubya
said, "Here, here, and here are countries that are in the
process of being subverted by the Communistic, long-haired,
hippie freaks.  The legislatures in these countries are on
the verge of passing laws that would require the government
to use Open Source software when possible.  This is only
the beginning.  The Red Hat menace must be stopped..."

Meanwhile, at a Congressional hearing by the Committee For
Alarming The Populace With Yet Another Imaginary Hobgoblin,
Senator Bob McSlarthy said, "I am holding in my hand a deck
of cards listing 55 members of the GNU Project suspected of
un-Capitalistic activities.  These spies and traitors must
be stopped before their weapons of mass digital destruction
fall into the hands of terrorists."

The committee chair, Senator Fattecat, agreed, "The
solution to this cancer is obvious.  I have assurances from
Microsoft and other commercial software vendors that they
are ready to send an emergency mobilization of thousands of
technicians and marketers worldwide to help deploy their
closed source software in countries that are teetering on
the edge.  Microsoft can airlift two hundred people armed
with Windows CDs to any red zone with only five minute's
notice -- all they need is my signal."

Mandrake, firmly in the crosshairs of the administration's
Shock and Awe strategery, issued a hasty response.  A
spokesgeek said, "It's clear that those CDs found in
Baghdad were planted.  We all know that Iraq's most
advanced computers -- imported before the sanctions from
Gulf War 1.0 -- are Commodore Colts.  Even Linux has never
been ported to that."

He added, "There's no proof that the bad guys are using
Linux -- but Windows is another story.  If I had to deal
with dancing paperclips, stupid wizards, proprietary file
formats, activation schemes that don't activate, and
bluescreens on a daily basis, then committing a suicide
bombing would start to look mighty tempting."


--
Humorix:      Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note
Archive:      http://mail.nl.linux.org/humorix/
Web site:     http://www.i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/


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