From frankwilliams2@starmedia.com Thu Feb 6 16:40:29 2003 Received: from [IPv6:::ffff:207.153.214.77] ([IPv6:::ffff:207.153.214.77]:7356 "EHLO smtp.latinmail.com") by humbolt.nl.linux.org with ESMTP id ; Thu, 6 Feb 2003 16:40:13 +0100 Received: from starmedia.com.com (unknown [216.167.63.39]) by smtp.latinmail.com (Postfix) with SMTP id 6B69E18549 for ; Thu, 6 Feb 2003 10:40:07 -0500 (EST) To: humorix-archive@nl.linux.org From: Frank Williams Date: Thu, 6 Feb 2003 10:40:01 -0500 Subject: ASSISTANCE. X-Mailer: LatinMail v3.0 -- http://www.starmedia.com.com Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii X-Priority: 3 Message-Id: <20030206154007.6B69E18549@smtp.latinmail.com> Return-Path: X-Envelope-To: <"| /bin/marchive -a -m -f /home/majordomo/public_html/humorix/folders/humorix"> (uid 0) X-Orcpt: rfc822;humorix-archive@nl.linux.org Original-Recipient: rfc822;humorix-archive@nl.linux.org From: Mr. Frank Williams. Gulf Bank Nig,plc. Head Office,Plot 1212, tijian bello Street, Victoria Island.P.M.B 0090, Lagos .www.gulfbank.com Attn: Sir, I know that you must have recieved the first letter I sent to you by post, but if you have not, here comes a follow-upto the letter. First I must seek for your understanding and pray that God will give you the wisdom to understand my problem and be in a position to help as you will be surely blessed as you help. I am Mr. Frank Williams,I am 41 Years old and also the chief accountant with Gulf Bank Nig PLC . I have a transaction which I think will be of mutual benefit to both of us. In my desire for a foreign partner with whom to do this transaction, I stumbled on your contact from a business directory. As the head of accounts department of GBNP, I discovered some amount of money while I was auditing accounts for the 2003 financial year which has been lying there for over 3 years. On further inquiry, I discovered that this money totalling about USD$21.5 Million (twenty-one Million five hundred thousand United States Dollars) including accumulated interest belonged to one MR Michael Osterkamp ,a Germany Nationale who lived here and died intestate with no beneficiary.This man died through a plane crash of ADC airlines in 1998. I have Successfully secured the money and with the assistance of my colleague,the money has been moved out of my bank and deposited in a finances company. It was packed in three(2)metal trunk boxes as photographic materials.I would need your particulars to enable me prepare documents which will authenticate that the Consignment belongs to you as the next of kin to MR Michael Osterkamp and to enable you claim the money. I want to be assured of a safe account where the money will be deposited pending my arrival.This transaction is absolutely risk free with no illegal complications,I have made all necessary arrangements for a successful transaction. Before this money is entrusted into your care, there must be an agreement that will be reached between us stating that: 1.BOTH PARTIES WILL NOT FOR ANY REASON CHEAT EACH OTHER. 2.BOTH PARTIES WILL WORK TOGETHER TO SEE THIS TRANSACTION THROUGH. 3.A HIGH DEGREE OF TRUST AND CONFIDENTIALITY WILL BE APPLIED FOR THE SAKE OF OUR WORK. 4.I AND MY PARTNER WILL STRONGLY BE BY YOUR SIDE AS YOU CLAIM THIS FUND AND I AND MY PARTNER WILL ARRAGE AN ATTORNEY(LAWYER)WHO WILL WORK ON YOUR BEHALF TO GET THE NECESSARY PAPERS NEEDED FOR A SMOOTH TRANSACTION. 5.YOU WILL NOT DISAPPEAR WITH OUR FUND AFTER YOU HAVECLAIMED IT. 6.DISBURSEMENT RATIO WILL BE 70 FOR ME AND MY COLLEAGUE,15 FOR YOU, 5% WILL BE DONATED TO CHARITY,WHILE 10% WILL TAKE CARE OF OUR MUTUALEXPENCES. There is need for you to respond to this offer immediately as the government of my country have concluded plans to apply the money into arms procurement to project wars and unrest in African continent.I must let you know that a high degree of trust is required and also we will like to use our own share to go into any lucrative business with your help/assistance. Awaiting your urgent response now. Yours Faithfully Mr. Frank Williams. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Obtén gratis tu cuenta de correo en StarMedia Email. ¡Regístrate hoy mismo!. http://www.starmedia.com/email From humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org Thu Feb 13 03:20:46 2003 Received: from localhost.nl.linux.org ([IPv6:::ffff:127.0.0.1]:60605 "EHLO humbolt.") by humbolt.nl.linux.org with ESMTP id ; Thu, 13 Feb 2003 03:20:35 +0100 Received: with LISTAR (v1.0.0; list humorix); Thu, 13 Feb 2003 03:18:06 +0100 (CET) Received: from epic.mail.pas.earthlink.net ([IPv6:::ffff:207.217.120.181]:11762 "EHLO epic.mail.pas.earthlink.net") by humbolt.nl.linux.org with ESMTP id ; Thu, 13 Feb 2003 03:17:46 +0100 Received: from mocape01-143.midwest.net ([209.248.17.153] helo=ldd.net) by epic.mail.pas.earthlink.net with esmtp (Exim 3.33 #1) id 18j8wY-0003AO-00 for humorix@humbolt.nl.linux.org; Wed, 12 Feb 2003 18:17:43 -0800 Message-ID: <3E4AFE2A.A122C4A4@ldd.net> Date: Wed, 12 Feb 2003 20:08:42 -0600 From: James Baughn Organization: Humorix World Domination X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.79 [en] (X11; U; Linux 2.4.18-3 i586) X-Accept-Language: en MIME-Version: 1.0 To: Humorix Mailing List Subject: [humorix] Massive Security Hole Discovered In The Linux Kernel! Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Spam-Status: No, hits=0.5 required=5.0 tests=PLING version=2.20 X-Spam-Level: X-Approved-By: jbaughn@ldd.net X-listar-version: Listar v1.0.0 Sender: humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org Errors-to: humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org X-original-sender: jbaughn@ldd.net Precedence: bulk Reply-to: humorix-l@nl.linux.org List-help: List-unsubscribe: List-software: Listar version 1.0.0 X-List-ID: List-subscribe: List-owner: List-post: List-archive: X-list: humorix Return-Path: X-Envelope-To: <"| /bin/marchive -a -m -f /home/majordomo/public_html/humorix/folders/humorix"> (uid 0) X-Orcpt: rfc822;humorix-archive@nl.linux.org Original-Recipient: rfc822;humorix-archive@nl.linux.org Massive Security Hole Discovered In The Linux Kernel! Ann Oneemuss, Humorix Intern Reporter February 12, 2003 BOSTON, MA -- In news that has already sent shock waves throughout the Linux community, Linus Foemellen, proprietor of The Linux Kernel Grill & Bar at 1523 Apache Street, admitted earlier today that criminals took advantage of a security hole to break into his business last night and hack into his safe -- literally. "My intruder alarm wasn't hooked up to one of the windows along the back wall," Foemellen admitted. "It's a very obscure place in the building, but that didn't prevent the crackers from quietly sneaking in and hacking open my safe with a pair of hacksaws." On the surface, this incident may seem like yet another minor breaking-and-entering case involving the theft of $12.45 from a tavern. However, when Taco Boy plastered the headline "Massive Security Whole [sic] Discovered In The Linux Kernel!" without even reading the story, the denizens of Slashdot went nuts. Within 20 minutes, over 1,000 comments had been posted, ranging from "Oh the humanity!" to "Panic!" to "This is impossible! Linux is perfect!" to "I told you Microsoft was better!" Meanwhile, the crack Microsoft marketing division wasted no time issuing a press release bragging about the apparent breach of the Linux kernel and the vast superiority of Windows 2000. They were joined in by the Blarter Group which immediately issued an advisory saying, "The rampant security holes in the Linux kernel clearly prove that the Total Cost of Ownership of free software is far higher than even the most expensive commercial Microsoft solutions." Back at Slashdot, the hysteria continued to climb when another editor posted the exact same story only 43 minutes later, complete with the same misspelling. Out of the 1,000 "This can't be happening!" posts and the 1,500 "This story is a dup!" messages, one lone Slashdot user posted a comment that said, "Did anybody actually read the [expletive] story? This is not what it seems!" Unfortunately, hardly anybody saw this comment because it was moderated (-1, Irrelevant). Linus Torvalds was unavailable for comment at press time; repeated calls to his Transmeta phone resulted in a recording that said, "This voice mail greeting is not here yet." [Editor's Note: We apologize for the preceding joke, which is not only very lame, but is *so* 1998. Our reporter has been warned against making such trangressions in the future. At Humorix, our mission is to produce only the finest quality low-budget filler material possible, not the drivel you just read.] -- Humorix: Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note Archive: http://mail.nl.linux.org/humorix/ Web site: http://www.i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/ From humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org Thu Feb 20 03:08:24 2003 Received: from localhost.nl.linux.org ([IPv6:::ffff:127.0.0.1]:52372 "EHLO humbolt.") by humbolt.nl.linux.org with ESMTP id ; Thu, 20 Feb 2003 03:08:15 +0100 Received: with LISTAR (v1.0.0; list humorix); Thu, 20 Feb 2003 03:07:09 +0100 (CET) Received: from sire.mail.pas.earthlink.net ([IPv6:::ffff:207.217.120.182]:22164 "EHLO sire.mail.pas.earthlink.net") by humbolt.nl.linux.org with ESMTP id ; Thu, 20 Feb 2003 03:07:00 +0100 Received: from mocape01-154.midwest.net ([209.248.17.164] helo=ldd.net) by sire.mail.pas.earthlink.net with esmtp (Exim 3.33 #1) id 18lg6z-0003Mv-00 for humorix@humbolt.nl.linux.org; Wed, 19 Feb 2003 18:06:58 -0800 Message-ID: <3E5434E9.8771E654@ldd.net> Date: Wed, 19 Feb 2003 19:52:41 -0600 From: James Baughn Organization: Humorix World Domination X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.79 [en] (X11; U; Linux 2.4.18-3 i586) X-Accept-Language: en MIME-Version: 1.0 To: Humorix Mailing List Subject: [humorix] CompUSSR Bans "Incompatible" Shoes From Stores Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Spam-Status: No, hits=0.0 required=5.0 tests= version=2.20 X-Spam-Level: X-Approved-By: jbaughn@ldd.net X-listar-version: Listar v1.0.0 Sender: humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org Errors-to: humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org X-original-sender: jbaughn@ldd.net Precedence: bulk Reply-to: humorix-l@nl.linux.org List-help: List-unsubscribe: List-software: Listar version 1.0.0 X-List-ID: List-subscribe: List-owner: List-post: List-archive: X-list: humorix Return-Path: X-Envelope-To: <"| /bin/marchive -a -m -f /home/majordomo/public_html/humorix/folders/humorix"> (uid 0) X-Orcpt: rfc822;humorix-archive@nl.linux.org Original-Recipient: rfc822;humorix-archive@nl.linux.org CompUSSR Bans "Incompatible" Shoes From Stores Ann Oneemuss, Unpaid Intern Reporter February 19, 2003 ST. PETERSBURG, RUSSIA -- Two weeks ago, CompUSSR launched a new company website that no longer works with any browser except IE 6.0 on Windows ME with all security featured disabled. Earlier today, the Russia-based computer vendor announced a similar policy for its 562 meatspace stores worldwide; customers will no longer be able to wear any brand of shoes except Nike(R) when entering. "Nike brand shoes are the only brand that is 100% compatible with our carpeting and linoleum floors," CompUSSR spokesperson Mikhail Sovietstereotype said. "Anything else will leave scuff marks or cause undue wear and tear. We figure that the vast majority of consumers already wear Nikes and that this new policy will only affect a minority of our customers." One store this reporter visited already had a large "No shirt, no Nike shoes, no service" sign hanging next to the company's trademark "Satisfaction 95% guaranteed, Comrade" poster. When I tried to enter sporting a pair of Reeboks, an alarm sounded and two security guards named Igor and Victor escorted me out, saying, "To best experience the CompUSSR store, please upgrade your shoes to Nike." I was finally able to gain entry by writing "Nike" on pieces of duct tape and slapping them over the Reebok logos on my shoes. The alarm system and the guards didn't seem to mind. When asked about the new policy, the store manager said, "So what? Only about 10 to 15 percent of the population continue to wear incompatible shoes. We simply can't waste money purchasing new carpeting and flooring to accomodate such a small minority... Now are you going to buy something or what?" As a reporter, I am supposed to remain objective and present both sides of the story. But since I'm a reporter for a fake news publication with no ambitions of ever winning the Pulitzer Prize, I'm not going to let something like journalistic ethics get in my way. So I told the manager straight up: "You can take my rubles and shove 'em!" The CompUSSR Chief Comrade was unavailable for comment at press time; his phone line is only reachable with a Sprint(R)-brand cellphone, which Humorix is too cheap to buy for their reporters. -- Humorix: Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note Archive: http://mail.nl.linux.org/humorix/ Web site: http://www.i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/ From hggeed554e@yahoo.com Mon Feb 24 00:38:45 2003 Received: from [IPv6:::ffff:211.235.192.4] ([IPv6:::ffff:211.235.192.4]:647 "EHLO 5500r.ns.ktitour.com") by humbolt.nl.linux.org with ESMTP id ; Mon, 24 Feb 2003 00:38:33 +0100 Received: from smtp0311.mail.yahoo.com ([61.177.115.192]) by 5500r.ns.ktitour.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC(5.0.2195.5329); Mon, 24 Feb 2003 08:40:10 +0900 Date: Sun, 23 Feb 2003 23:37:46 GMT From: "James B." X-Priority: 3 To: sy_houston@yahoo.com CC: virendransys@yahoo.com, 3d128f5e.86c21cd1@ldd.net, jbaughn@ldd.net, humorix@nl.linux.org, riel@nl.linux.org, humorix-archive@nl.linux.org, humorix-l@nl.linux.org Subject: ** Increase your sales over 10 folds or expand your Business ** Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/html; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Message-ID: <5500RaefGhHbBpG12To000105c9@5500r.ns.ktitour.com> X-OriginalArrivalTime: 23 Feb 2003 23:40:11.0203 (UTC) FILETIME=[E7E5B930:01C2DB94] Return-Path: X-Envelope-To: <"| /bin/marchive -a -m -f /home/majordomo/public_html/humorix/folders/humorix"> (uid 0) X-Orcpt: rfc822;humorix-archive@nl.linux.org Original-Recipient: rfc822;humorix-archive@nl.linux.org
Do you want to increase your sales or Expand your business ?
The Best Way Reach the Masses Today

Tested to Be The best method for marketing your Online Business

Click here to receive information today on low fee website marketing
email will be sent to you only once

Direct E-Mail Advertising

The E-vertising Experts

600,000 mailings of email	With 500,000 email ads and the tested return of 1.5% from customer you get over 9,000 customers visiting your website soon after we send your email adds -now that's a lot !! .	$179.99
For 1,200,000 mailings of email	With 1,000,000 email ads and the tested return of 3.5% from customer you get up to 18,000 customers visiting your website soon after we send your email adds even better !! .	$349.99
For up to 2,000,000 mailings	With 2,000,000 email ads and the tested return of 3.5% from customer you get up to 70,00 customers If each time you pay us $749 you get 30,000 customers to your site We think you will be in heaven with your sales and profit boost so pay us now to get started --big growth ahead !! .	$649.99

volume discounts available over 2 million

targeted lists available

If need to Market your Website or Online Business for traffic
Click here to receive information today on low fee website marketing
email will be sent to you only once

From humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org Thu Feb 27 05:22:35 2003 Received: from localhost.nl.linux.org ([IPv6:::ffff:127.0.0.1]:4577 "EHLO humbolt.") by humbolt.nl.linux.org with ESMTP id ; Thu, 27 Feb 2003 05:22:22 +0100 Received: with LISTAR (v1.0.0; list humorix); Thu, 27 Feb 2003 05:21:34 +0100 (CET) Received: from epic.mail.pas.earthlink.net ([IPv6:::ffff:207.217.120.181]:35582 "EHLO epic.mail.pas.earthlink.net") by humbolt.nl.linux.org with ESMTP id ; Thu, 27 Feb 2003 05:20:46 +0100 Received: from mocape01-117.midwest.net ([209.248.17.127] helo=ldd.net) by epic.mail.pas.earthlink.net with esmtp (Exim 3.33 #1) id 18oFWQ-0003mB-00 for humorix@humbolt.nl.linux.org; Wed, 26 Feb 2003 20:19:51 -0800 Message-ID: <3E5D9223.72E57FEF@ldd.net> Date: Wed, 26 Feb 2003 22:20:52 -0600 From: James Baughn Organization: Humorix World Domination X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.79 [en] (X11; U; Linux 2.4.18-3 i586) X-Accept-Language: en MIME-Version: 1.0 To: Humorix Mailing List Subject: [humorix] Microsoft Poll Reveals Customers Enjoy High Prices, Low Quality, No Privacy Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Spam-Status: No, hits=0.0 required=5.0 tests= version=2.20 X-Spam-Level: X-Approved-By: jbaughn@ldd.net X-listar-version: Listar v1.0.0 Sender: humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org Errors-to: humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org X-original-sender: jbaughn@ldd.net Precedence: bulk Reply-to: humorix-l@nl.linux.org List-help: List-unsubscribe: List-software: Listar version 1.0.0 X-List-ID: List-subscribe: List-owner: List-post: List-archive: X-list: humorix Return-Path: X-Envelope-To: <"| /bin/marchive -a -m -f /home/majordomo/public_html/humorix/folders/humorix"> (uid 0) X-Orcpt: rfc822;humorix-archive@nl.linux.org Original-Recipient: rfc822;humorix-archive@nl.linux.org Microsoft Poll Reveals Customers Enjoy High Prices, Low Quality, No Privacy February 26, 2003 REDMOND, WA -- Earlier today Microsoft announced the results of a "100% independent, 100% impartial" survey revealing that the average customer "embraces" monopolistic tactics and spyware. "This landmark study proves that the Department of Justice just wasted millions of dollars persecuting us," explained a company spokesweasel. "Anti-trust, anti-price-gouging, and anti-monopoly laws are relics from the 19th Century that have no relevance anymore and must be repealed." According to the survey, 95% of respondents said that the high prices of Windows and other Microsoft products didn't stop them from buying every single upgrade and Plus! version. Nearly 80% said that "computers are supposed to crash once in awhile" and that bugs were "not a concern." Finally, 75% didn't mind that Windows Media Spewer and Windows Update spied on them and "phoned home" to Microsoft. "Our customers are not stupid," said the PR weasel. "They know that the demographic information we collect is strictly for improving the quality of our innovative best-of-breed solutions. If some of that information is shared with our highly valued business partners who are only concerned with helping consumers, then that's not a problem either..." He added, "And if even more of that information is shared with the FBI, CIA, NSA, ATF, FDA, INS, FCC, FTC, TSA, TVA, SEC, DEA, EPA, and DOJ to help fight terrorism, then the vast majority of our customers approve -- who doesn't want to help fight terrorism?" Research by the Humorix Vast Spy Network(tm), however, casts doubt on the veracity of this study. Almost all of the respondents were college students promised beer money for participating. They didn't have any problem with Microsoft's high prices because they all used pirated versions that didn't cost them anything. They weren't concerned about low quality because many had access to Linux and Unix boxes for those times when they actually wanted to get stuff done. As for privacy, many of the students had Linux-based firewalls to help filter out packets bound for microsoft.com. "There are lies, damned lies, and statistics paid for by Microsoft," said one industry observer. "This study means nothing. Any study can be designed to produce any kind of desired result -- I mean, only 13.5% of the U.S. population aged 18-34 knows that." A Microserf defended the study, though, saying, "We had a large diverse sampling of the population in our study... 640 respondents should be enough for any study!" She continued, "The DoJ unilaterally attacked Microsoft without provocation and, according to this study, without the support of the American people. We have far greater problems to face -- like the spreading cancer of open source idealism that's brainwashing our young people with Communistic pravda and anti-intellectual-property propaganda. Another recent study shows that 53% of housewives aged 25-49 are concerned about this threat to their children..." -- Humorix: Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note Archive: http://mail.nl.linux.org/humorix/ Web site: http://www.i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/ From bylcs@pub.yz.jsinfo.net Fri Feb 28 01:15:50 2003 Received: from [IPv6:::ffff:218.91.70.99] ([IPv6:::ffff:218.91.70.99]:44559 "HELO lcs") by humbolt.nl.linux.org with SMTP id ; Fri, 28 Feb 2003 01:15:31 +0100 From: lcs Reply-To: bylcs@pub.yz.jsinfo.net Subject: =?gb2312?q?_=B1=BE=B3=A7=D7=A8=D2=B5=C9=FA=B2=FA:_=B2=A3=C1=A7=CD=BF=C1=CF__=C6=DF=B2=CA=CB=AE(=D6=E9=B9=E2=CB=AE)_=B8=F7=D6=D6=C8=C8=C5=E7=B2=CA=C9=AB=CB=AE__=B2=A3=D3=C3=BB=C6=BD=F0=CB=AE__=B0=D7=BD=F0=CB=AE__=BD=F8=BF=DA=CE=DE=D3=B0=BD=BA?= Date: Fri, 28 Feb 2003 08:15:15 +0800 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/mixed; boundary="e67adfef-9113-4257-8ea7-bcd791cbf3a0" Message-Id: <20030228001541Z19463-10179+932@humbolt.nl.linux.org> To: unlisted-recipients:; (no To-header on input) Return-Path: X-Envelope-To: <"| /bin/marchive -a -m -f /home/majordomo/public_html/humorix/folders/humorix"> (uid 0) X-Orcpt: rfc822;humorix-archive@nl.linux.org Original-Recipient: rfc822;humorix-archive@nl.linux.org This is a multi-part message in MIME format --e67adfef-9113-4257-8ea7-bcd791cbf3a0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=gb2312 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable =CE=D2=B3=A7=D7=A8=D2=B5=C9=FA=B2=FA=CF=FA=CA=DB=A3=BA =A3=A8 =A3=B1 =A3=A9=A1=A2=B2=A3=C1=A7=CD=BF=C1=CF=A3=A8=B8=DF=B9=E2=A1=A2=D1= =C7=B9=E2=A1=A2=C9=C1=B9=E2=A1=A2=D6=E9=B9=E2=A1=A2=B1=E4=C9=AB=D6=E9=B9=E2=A1= =A2=D2=B9=B9=E2=A1=A2=D3=AB=B9=E2=A1=A2=B5=E7=B6=C6=A1=A2=C8=DE=C3=AB=A1=A2=C5= =F2=BB=AF=A1=A2=B1=F9=BB=A8=A1=A2=D3=F0=C8=DE=A1=A2=D7=EA=CA=AF=A1=A2=C1=D1=CE= =C6=A1=A2=F4=D4=CE=C6=A1=A2=C1=A2=CF=DF=A1=A2=CC=EE=C9=AB=A1=A2=BB=F0=CE=ED=A1= =A3=A1=A3=A1=A3=A3=A9 =A3=A8 =A3=B2 =A3=A9=A1=A2=D6=E9=B9=E2=CB=AE=A3=A8=C6=DF=B2=CA=CB=AE=A1=A2=C5= =E7=BD=F0=CB=AE=A3=A9=B7=D6=D2=BB=BC=B6=C6=B7=A3=AC=B6=FE=BC=B6=C6=B7=A1=A3 =A3=A8 =A3=B3 =A3=A9=A1=A2=BB=C6=BD=F0=CB=AE=A1=A2=B0=D7=BD=F0=CB=AE=A1=A2=BA= =EC=BD=F0=CB=AE=A3=A8=B7=D6=B9=FA=B2=FA=BA=CD=BD=F8=BF=DA=A3=A9 =A3=A8 =A3=B4 =A3=A9=A1=A2=B5=E7=B9=E2=CB=AE=A3=A8=B8=F7=D6=D6=D1=D5=C9=AB=A3= =AC=B7=D6=B9=FA=B2=FA=BA=CD=BD=F8=BF=DA=A3=A9 =A3=A8 =A3=B5 =A3=A9=A1=A2=C6=D5=CD=A8=B2=A3=C1=A7=BD=BA=A1=A2=CE=DE=D3=B0=BD= =BA=A3=A8=B7=D6=B9=FA=B2=FA=BA=CD=BD=F8=BF=DA=A3=A9 =A3=A8 =A3=B6 =A3=A9=A1=A2=B2=A3=C1=A7=CC=F9=BB=A8=D6=BD =A3=A8 =A3=B7 =A3=A9=A1=A2=BD=F0=B4=D0=B7=DB=A1=A2=C9=C1=B9=E2=C6=AC=A1=A2=C0= =D8=C9=E4=CB=BF=A3=A8=B7=D6=B9=FA=B2=FA=BA=CD=BD=F8=BF=DA=A3=A9 =A3=A8 =A3=B8 =A3=A9=A1=A2=CA=A5=B5=AE=B9=A4=D2=D5=C5=E4=BC=FE =A3=A8 =A3=B9 =A3=A9=A1=A2=BD=F0=CB=BF=CF=DF=A1=A2=D2=F8=CB=BF=CF=DF =A3=A8=A3=B1=A3=B0=A3=A9=A1=A2=C3=C9=C9=B3=B7=DB=A1=A2=C3=C9=C9=B3=B8=E0 =A3=A8=A3=B1=A3=B1=A3=A9=A1=A2=B2=A3=C1=A7=BC=D3=B9=A4=B9=A4=BE=DF = ( 1 2 ). =B8=F7=CA=BD=B8=F7=D1=F9=B5= =C4=B2=A3=C1=A7=B9=A4=D2=D5=C6=B7(=CA=A5=B5=AE=BD=DA,=B8=B4=BB=EE=BD=DA,=C0=F1= =C6=B7) =B1=BE=B3=A7=BF=C9=CE=AA=D0=C2=C0=CF=BF=CD=BB=A7=D7=F6=B5=BD=C5=E4=CC=D7=B7=FE= =CE=F1=A3=A8=C3=E2=B7=D1=B5=F7=C9=AB=A1=A2=C5=E4=C9=AB=A3=A9=C1=BF=B4=F3=BF=C9= =C9=CF=C3=C5=B7=FE=CE=F1=A1=A3=C8=E7=D3=D0=B2=BB=C2=FA=D2=E2=B1=BE=B3=A7=D6=AE= =B7=FE=CE=F1=A3=AC=BF=C9=CE=DE=CC=F5=BC=FE=CD=CB=BF=EE=A1=A3 =BD=AD=CB=D5=CA=A1=B1=A6=D3=A6=CF=D8=B9=E2=B2=CA=B2=A3=C1=A7=D2=D5=CA=F5=B2=C4= =C1=CF=B3=A7 =B7=A8=C8=CB=B4=FA=B1=ED=A3=BA=C1=F5=B3=A4=CB=C9 =C1=AA =CF=B5 =C8=CB=A3=BA=C9=FA=D1=A7=C3=B7 =C1=F5=B3=A4=C7=E0 =CF=FA=CA=DB=B5=E7=BB=B0=A3=BA=A3=B0=A3=B5=A3=B1=A3=B4=A3=AD=A3=B8=A3=B2=A3=B2= =A3=B7=A3=B1=A3=B7=A3=B6 (=D7=DC=BB=FA) =B5=D8 =D6=B7=A3=BA=B0=B2=D2=CB=B6=AB=C2=B7=A3=B1=A3=B0=A3=B5=A3=A3 --e67adfef-9113-4257-8ea7-bcd791cbf3a0-- From humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org Fri Feb 28 04:43:19 2003 Received: from localhost.nl.linux.org ([IPv6:::ffff:127.0.0.1]:43991 "EHLO humbolt.") by humbolt.nl.linux.org with ESMTP id ; Fri, 28 Feb 2003 04:43:11 +0100 Received: with LISTAR (v1.0.0; list humorix); Fri, 28 Feb 2003 04:42:22 +0100 (CET) Received: from epic.mail.pas.earthlink.net ([IPv6:::ffff:207.217.120.181]:29932 "EHLO epic.mail.pas.earthlink.net") by humbolt.nl.linux.org with ESMTP id ; Fri, 28 Feb 2003 04:42:03 +0100 Received: from mocape01-180.midwest.net ([209.248.17.190] helo=ldd.net) by epic.mail.pas.earthlink.net with esmtp (Exim 3.33 #1) id 18obPM-0004vD-00 for humorix@humbolt.nl.linux.org; Thu, 27 Feb 2003 19:42:01 -0800 Message-ID: <3E5EDAFA.B955CB53@ldd.net> Date: Thu, 27 Feb 2003 21:43:54 -0600 From: James Baughn Organization: Humorix World Domination X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.79 [en] (X11; U; Linux 2.4.18-3 i586) X-Accept-Language: en MIME-Version: 1.0 To: Humorix Mailing List Subject: [humorix] The Great Windows Sales Tax Refund Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Spam-Status: No, hits=0.0 required=5.0 tests= version=2.20 X-Spam-Level: X-Approved-By: jbaughn@ldd.net X-listar-version: Listar v1.0.0 Sender: humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org Errors-to: humorix-bounce@nl.linux.org X-original-sender: jbaughn@ldd.net Precedence: bulk Reply-to: humorix-l@nl.linux.org List-help: List-unsubscribe: List-software: Listar version 1.0.0 X-List-ID: List-subscribe: List-owner: List-post: List-archive: X-list: humorix Return-Path: X-Envelope-To: <"| /bin/marchive -a -m -f /home/majordomo/public_html/humorix/folders/humorix"> (uid 0) X-Orcpt: rfc822;humorix-archive@nl.linux.org Original-Recipient: rfc822;humorix-archive@nl.linux.org The Great Windows Sales Tax Refund February 27, 2003 FARGO, NORTH DAKOTA -- The Windows End-Luser License Agreement states quite clearly, "The SOFTWARE PRODUCT is licensed, not sold." If this is true, however, then how come computer stores charge sales tax on software purchases? That was the question posed by the group of about 100 protestors who protested in front of the North Dakota state capitol building earlier this week -- that is, until they realized the state's capital is in Bismarck, not Fargo. "We must protest this outrage," said an outraged protestor. "We don't even get the privilege of owning our software and yet the government levies sales taxes on it. Taxation without ownership is far worse than taxation without representation!" A Microsoft spokesperson responded by saying that when customers purchase software at a store, they indeed do own it -- the cardboard box and manual, plus the obligatory stack of "REGISTER YOUR SOFTWARE NOW OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!" warnings. "Some of our customers have said that our promotional literature makes excellent fire kindling or birdcage liner," the Microserf said. "You can do whatever you like with that paper -- you own it. And the CDs? They make excellent beverage coasters." The protestors didn't like that answer one bit. "I don't buy shrinkwrapped software for the manuals -- hell, 95% of software doesn't even come with manuals anymore. They expect you to read the 1000 page manuals with a PDF viewer in which the text font is smaller than Flyspeck-3." "We demand refunds for all of the sales taxes that have been illegally collected on software that was for rent, not sale," one protestor bellowed in front of the statehouse when the group finally arrived in Bismarck. "We're sick of this hypocrisy -- Microsoft should no longer be able to claim that they sell software while also claiming that customers don't own it and don't have any rights." Unfortunately, the protests will likely do more harm than good. Several legislators took notice, with one saying, "What? We have the power to impose sale taxes on items that aren't sold? Cool! We could use this power to prop up our state budget... And let's not forget that CD-ROMs contain trace amounts of gold... we should start charging luxury taxes to anybody who possesses a CD!" The idiot that invented the idea of licensing software instead of selling it was unavailable for comment at press time. -- Humorix: Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note Archive: http://mail.nl.linux.org/humorix/ Web site: http://www.i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/