[humorix] Programmer Implements Linux As ActiveX Applet

[James Baughn <jbaughn@xxxxxxx>]

Programmer Implements Linux As ActiveX Applet
September 12, 2005

RED DEER, ALBERTA -- In what could be the greatest
programming achievement since the invention of curly braces,
James Hacker has successfully shoehorned a bare-bones Linux
distribution into an ActiveX applet running under Internet
Explorer and Windows XP.

The system, code-named NAPWOT (Not A Pointless Waste Of
Time), includes the Linux kernel, critical system programs,
assorted userspace applications, and even a hacked version
of the X Window System to provide a GUI-within-a-GUI.

Hacker was quick to point out that his creation is much more
than just a toy curiosity.  It can be used to smuggle Linux
into the workplace without drawing the attention of Pointy
Haired Bosses or Bastard MCSEs From Hell.  "The only way to
stop NAPWOT would be to ban ActiveX from the entire
corporate network.  And that, of course, would be a good
thing in its own right."

The best part, however, is that NAPWOT makes it possible to
run Mozilla -- from within Internet Explorer. "You can now
gain all of the advantages of Mozilla, but without violating
your company's you-must-use-IE-or-else policy.  After all,
you _are_ using Internet Explorer!  What your boss doesn't
know won't hurt him."

Like any good alpha geek, Hacker couldn't resist
demonstrating his "piece d' resistance is futile": a PC
running Linux running WINE running Internet Explorer running
NAPWOT running Mozilla running a Java version of Emacs
running a Solitaire program written in Lisp.  "I can't wait
to build a Beowulf cluster of these!" he exclaimed.  "So
many layers of abstraction, so little CPU time!"

Hacker hopes that his bastard creation will encourage more
people to try Linux from the comfort of their favorite
insecure web browser. "All you have to do is type in my
website address in IE, and Windows will do the rest
automatically -- and without so much as a security alert.
It couldn't be any easier to install Linux!  Unless, of
course, we could forcibly upgrade everybody to Linux using
some kind of Outlook virus."

Nevertheless, one naysayer emerged from the woodwork to say
nay. "This is a bad idea for demonstrating Linux to end
users.  ActiveX is unstable and unreliable -- if NAPWOT
crashes because of a flaw in Windows, Linux will get all of
the blame.  In short, Microsoft would be rewarded for its
own shoddy programming.  No, we need people to try real
Linux distributions -- I'd recommend a worldwide saturation
bombing of Knoppix CDs, but that's just my personal
preference."


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