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[humorix] Registrygate Coverup Revealed
Registrygate Coverup Revealed
By Michele Petrovsky, petrovsky.m [at] comcast [dot] net
REDMOND, WA -- The Humorix Vast Spy Network(tm) has just
received word of the most shocking coverup by Microsoft to
hit our radar since last week. An internal Microsoft memo,
discovered taped to the inside of a Papa John's pizza box
(double cheese, double pepperoni, and mushroom), reveals a
truth that Linux-heads and other intelligent lifeforms have
long suspected: The Windows Registry doesn't exist.
There is no organized, tiered, manageable representation of
Windows' resources and environment. There is nothing --
absolutely nothing -- at the heart of Windows.
The memo in question reveals the ugly truth that Microsoft
has kept hidden for over a decade. Late in 1994, during the
"still alpha after all these years" phase of Windows 95
development, a clandestine operator identified only as the
Tuxinator, who was at that time employed as a Rigged Demo
Development Engineer Architect in the 32-Bits-or-Bust Bureau
at Microsoft, planted a single insidious command into the
Stamp-'Em-Out-o-matic CD burner that Redmond then used to
produce all distributions of its nascent OS.
The details of that command, shocking though they are, make
up only the shell of this plot. At its kernel is an even
more appalling, and even more closely guarded, instruction
set.
The command that made Windows what it is today, the memo
reveals, is:
rm -f registry.txt 2 >> /dev/null
The even uglier (or more beautiful, depending on your point
of view) truth? The Tuxinator, during his last full day of
MicroSerfdom, executed this command on a 386 running
Slackware 0.01. That, of course, is the secret that
Microsoft doesn't want you to go to today -- that it used
Linux as its development platform, and switched R&D to
Windows only after the Tuxinator's inspired hack.
Which, when you think about it, explains a lot.
--
Humorix: Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note
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