[humorix] Slashdot Editors Promise To Actually Edit Stories

[James Baughn <jbaughn@xxxxxxx>]

Slashdot Editors Promise To Actually Edit Stories
April 1, 2005

HOLLAND, MICHIGAN -- The end is near.  After defending
wave after wave of criticism from the omnipresent
Anonymous Coward,  Taco Boy today announced that he
and the rest of his staff will actually live up to
their titles as "editors."

"I've always believed that 'editor' is simply another
name for he-who-knows-the-root-password," Taco Boy
wrote in his 6:32 AM CST Slashdot post.  "Not
anymore.  I promise that things will start to change
around here."

"For one thing," he said, "We will actually check the
archives before posting stories to weed out duplicates
and triplicates.  And I've written a 100,000-line Perl
script that will automatically spell-check our posts."

He added, "We will actually check the archives before
posting stories to weed out duplicates and
triplicates."

The new editorial policy replaces the old Slashdot
editorial policy which was indistinguishable from the
null set.

"In the past, I've only posted stories that were
submitted by people with cool nicknames," admitted
co-editor CowboyPollOption.  "Or posts that included
bribes.  But now I'm actually going to read the posts
for content and merit.  It's a tough job, but somebody
has to do it."

It's not immediately clear whether the new policy will
also include editing the posts for grammar and
clarity.  This might be too much to ask.

"Regular users have come to expect bad English grammar
and even worse Perl Slashcode.  It's going to be hard
for regular users to make this adjustment... if it
happens at all,"  said one industry observer who
claims that he once had Slashdot User Account #68
until he suppposedly "misplaced the password."
(Whatever.)

The chairman of the Pulitzer Prize award committee was
unavailable for comment at press time.

[UPDATE: Damn, it looks like this was merely an April
Fool's Day joke by the Slashdot staff.  We knew this
was too good to be true.  The staff of Humorix would
like to extend our deepest apologies for publishing
this fake news.  No, wait, scratch that. We would like
to apologize for publishing fake news that we thought
was real news under the heading of fake news.  Or
something like that.]

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