[humorix] Humorix Obtains Patent On April Fool's Day Hoaxes

[James Baughn <jbaughn@xxxxxxx>]

Humorix Obtains Patent On April Fool's Day Hoaxes
April 1, 2004

HUMORIX WORLD HEADQUARTERS -- Low-budget Linux humor site
Humorix (Nasdaq: FAUX) announced today that it has been
granted Patent #5,434,091,623 covering the "creation and
dissemination of ficticious content on a predetermined day
of the year for the purpose of fooling and/or embarassing
members of the public."

"We intend to vigorous enforce our new patent," explained
the head of Humorix's new Vast Intellectual Property
Protection Racket & Spy Network(tm)(patent pending).  "In
particular, Slashdot published several April Fool's Day[1]
stories today in clear violation of our patent.  We are
attempting to contact Taco Boy to work out a reasonable
settlement which will provide enough money for our chief
lawyer, Dr. Noah Morals[2], to purchase his second luxury
yacht."

It's not immediately clear, however, if Slashdot and other
April Fool sites will attempt to use prior art as a
defense. "Slashdot publishes stories of dubious
authenticity every day of the year," said one industry
pundit.  "What makes April 1st any different?"

Another industry observer pointed out, "There's no reason
to panic here. Surprisingly, we can't blame the USPTO for
this blunder. No, Humorix's patent was actually granted by
a tiny Asian country known as Elcheapostan, which derives
94% of its GDP from reselling SCO Linux licenses and
granting worthless patents that look good in press releases
but have no legal standing."

Humorix's lawyer quickly dismissed the Elcheapostan
connection. "We expect that the US Patent and Trademark
office will also approve our patent application shortly --
my staff of legal assistants drafted a patent so dense with
buzzwords that they will have no choice but to accept it,"
explained Dr. Morals.

"At that point," he continued, "I will go after  hundreds
of dotcom sites -- and every one of their readers. Soon I
will become famous as the industry's most evil lawyer --
even surpassing you-know-who! I hope I can get a book deal
out of this..."


[1] April Fool's Day is a non-registered trademark of
Humorix World Domination, Uninc.

[2] Dr. Noah Morals recently received a Ph.D. in Litiguous
Bastardry from the prestigious (but unaccredited) Southern
Missouri School of Taxidermy & Court Law.



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