[humorix] Dateline 2007: Humorix Becomes Second Largest Media Company

[James Baughn <jbaughn@xxxxxxx>]

Dateline 2007: Humorix Becomes Second Largest Media Company

OMNICOMM CITY (FORMERLY NEW YORK CITY) -- Now that every
media company in the United States has merged to form
Omnicomm (NYSE: BORG), low-budget Linux humor site Humorix
(Nasdaq: FAUX) remains the only holdout not assimilated
into the collective.

"Unlike everybody else, we've managed to avoid a hostile
takeover," explained Dr. G. E. Trich, Humorix's Investment
Relations Officer and Executive Book Cooker. "Last week,
the other remaining standalone company, Clear Channel
Radio, was sucked into the bottomless pit of Omnicomm. So
Humorix is now Number 2!"

Omnicomm was created two years ago from the merger of
DisneyComcastABC and TimeWarnerMurdoch.  The snowball
created by this union continued to grow at an exponential
rate with the acquisitions of ViacomDirectTV,
XMSiriusAdelphia,  NewYorkTimesNationalEnquirer,
AssociatedPressVerizonBellATTSprintMCI, MGMParamountPBS,
and many others.  Even MicrosoftVerisignApple was sucked
into the company, despite Bill Gates' attempt to avoid the
takeover by creating his own country from vacant land in
Nevada.

An anonymous source at Humorix admitted earlier today that
Omnicomm has offered to acquire the company for a
"undisclosed sum, somewhere in the neighborhood of two
digits".  It seems doubtful that Humorix will accept this
offer, especially since the Humorix CEO said last month,
"I'd rather make a deal to buy the Brooklyn Bridge from
some shady mafia guy than to make a deal with Omnicomm."

Profits at Humorix increased substantially in the last year
(from $0.00 to $4.23) after the company contracted with
Vanity Press, Inc. (later assimilated), to publish a
collection of stories from the Humorix archives. Sales of
the book, "Humorix: World Domination, One Joke At A Time",
have been brisk, with nearly five orders placed on
Amazon.com (later assimilated).  However, with every
publisher and bookseller now under the Omnicomm vice, the
future for Humorix is murky.

Humorix does have one ace up its sleeves.  "After Omnicomm
acquired Microsoft, they migrated all of their computers to
Windows DE [Dumbed-down Edition].  It's only a matter of
time before the whole system running the Omnicomm Empire
bluescreens and the company goes 404," Dr. Trich
explained.  "Then we'll be ready to make our move."



--
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