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[humorix] China Cracks Down On Naughty Websites
China Cracks Down On Naughty Websites
by Anonymous Cowherd, not his or her real pseudonym
June 1, 2002
The Chinese government has unveiled a new program to
bolster its effort to prevent citizens from looking at
things-not-in-their-best-interests on the Internet.
Previous attempts to censor local proxy servers failed
miserably when users quickly discovered the country's worst
kept Internet secret: they could just use an outside proxy.
The local blocking of such anti-China websites as
linux-usb.org, freshmeat and the 1394 trade association
was simply too easy to circumvent. Even with rooms of
police officers constantly trawling the 'Net for prohibited
content, it was impossible to keep up with all of the
pro-USB propoganda.
Australia, an even more draconian web censor, has
experienced similar problems with the un-enforcability of
its Internet decency laws. But China has the solution.
Under their new system, teams of police officers will
patrol Internet bars and look over everybody's shoulders to
prevent users from seeing something naughty they shouldn't
see.
"This is a stand for protecting our youth from foreign
perversions," (translated) said one television executive
miffed that most of his viewers prefer ICQ chat instead of
commercials for expensive medicine that makes your
children grow taller and do better at school (at the same
time -- you have to see the ads!).
"It is for the protection of our young people's fragile
minds," (translated) said a government spokesman. He may
or may not have added, "If they see even one page of
forbidden content, their lives will be ruined. We can't
let that happen." [Editor: Feel free to insert a snide
comment here about how politicians are the same the world
over regardless of ideology.]
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APRIL FOOLS!
This is an official Humorix April Fools gag. The above news
story is NOT fake at all... it is COMPLETELY TRUE!!! If you
failed to believe it for a moment, you were fooled. As
Nelson on the Simpsons would say, "Ha-ha!"
Yes, we know it isn't April First. But what is the point of
having April Fools Day at the same time every year? Who is
fooled by that? We here at Humorix have officially
declared today as June Fools Day -- because one day a year
simply isn't enough for fake-news-disguised-as-true-news
or, in this case, true-news-disguised-as-fake-news.
So there!
--
Humorix: Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note
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