[humorix] Red Hat's Anti-Windows Website Runs On Windows

[James Baughn <jbaughn@ldd.net>]

Red Hat's Anti-Windows Website Runs On Windows
April 14, 2002

RALEIGH-DURHAM, NC -- In response to Microsoft's "We Have
The Way Out" advertising blitz, Red Hat Software last week
unveiled its own campaign, "Yes They Have The Way Out". 
Taking a cue from Microsoft, Red Hat has decided to host
its own anti-Windows campaign website on a Windows server.

"Why didn't we think of this earlier?" explained Erik
Schweikert, a Red Hat advertising manager.  "Already, our
Windows 2000 webserver has proven to be slow, crash-prone,
and error-prone.  According to our testing, one out of
every two visitors to YesTheyHaveTheWayOut.com is greeted
by a 'Server Too Busy' or other uninformative IIS error
message. By showing Windows (in)action, we have crafted the
perfect Linux advertising campaign."

If a visitor happens to visit the website during a time in
which the Windows server is actually up and running, they
will be greeted with a series of pages describing all of
the "benefits" of Microsoft software.  

"If you don't like powerful user interfaces," one page
says, "Microsoft has the way out... into a world of
click-and-drool graphical dialog boxes so simple that even
a five your old could operate them..."

Another section exclaims, "If you don't like depending your
mission critical business on software with the source code
available, Microsoft has the way out... into a world of
software with locked-down source code designed to prevent
malicious hackers from taking advantage of security holes
and also ensuring that only well-trained Microsoft
engineers make changes to the code instead of your
snot-nosed 14 year old nephew."

The rest of the site has other similarly crafted sections
showcasing the kind of world that Microsoft allows you to
"escape" to. "This is one of the best promotional campaigns
that we've spearheaded," explained the Red Hat ad manager. 
"This is even cooler than that billboard we erected last
year showing the Blue Screen of Death with the caption 'Is
this really where you want to go today?'"

Not everybody is quite as impressed with the Red Hat
promotional endeavor.  "Your typical Pointy Haired Boss
doesn't understand sarcasm or parody," said a writer for
Ziff-Davis.  "This stuff will go right over their heads and
they'll honestly believe that click-and-drool interfaces
and security-through-obscurity really are Microsoft
advantages.   After all, the only reason that Dilbert is
still around is that PHBs don't get the jokes."

--
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