[humorix] Microsoft Runs Out Of Ideas

[James Baughn <jbaughn@ldd.net>]

Microsoft Runs Out Of Ideas
Allen S. Thorpe, thorpe@co.emery.ut.us
March 28, 2002

REDMOND, WA -- In what analysts call an inevitable crisis,
Microsoft has postponed release of Windows PU, the next
version of its flagship operating system.  Insiders say
that the problem is due to the fact that no one in Redmond
has any ideas for improvements.  Some have suggested
reliability improvements, but these were discarded as being
"contrary to the Microsoft culture."

The problem, it appears, is due to the fact that
Microsoft's aggressive marketing and penchant for adding
features to Windows which were once separate software sold
by other companies.  The latest such move was when the
Redmond, Washington firm incorporated its Office Suite into
its operating system.

A Silicon Valley venture capitalist who requested anonymity
told Humorix that there is no longer any competition for
Microsoft due to the reluctance of developers to expose
their innovative ideas to a market which is "patrolled by
Jaws."  "There was a time," he says, "when people would
start a company and then wait to be bought out by MS, but
the profit in this approach has disappeared since
Microsoft's acquisition of Apple Computer and Intel." 
Microsoft no longer is willing to pay a fair market price
for new products simply, "because it has eliminated the
concept of a free market."

According to a stock analyst for a large New York
brokerage, who also refuses to allow its name to be
printed, tells us that Microsoft's rise was made possible
by its ability to watch the software market, copy the best
new products and then drive the creators out of business.
"Now," he says, "There are no more innovators to feed
Microsoft with new ideas. It's sad.  An end to an era."

Others say that Microsoft's growth had been fueled by the
Moore's law cycle: Each new processor or other improvement
in hardware would be followed by a new version of Windows
which would have the effect of slowing it down to the speed
of the old systems.  But now, people have recognized what
was happening and are only buying new computers when the
old ones cease to function.  There is a grass roots market
of techs who will keep old boxes running now that new
systems are more expensive than the previous generations,
another effect of Microsoft's ownership of all the hardware
manufacturers.

Reached for Comment, William Gates, III would only deny the
reports and attributed the delays to "efforts to improve
security of our product before we release it to the
market."  But others point out that the last four releases
have been increasingly short on new features and rich in
new animated "tools" and new graphics.  Former competitors
of Microsoft were contacted for comment, but refused due to
threats of being sued. "Who needs the grief?" said one,
"I've got mine.  I'm Old Money now. Why beat my head
against a black monolith?"

--
Humorix:      Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note
Archive:      http://mail.nl.linux.org/humorix/
Web site:     http://www.i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/