[humorix] Linus Torvalds Files Suit Against Lindows

[James Baughn <jbaughn@ldd.net>]

Linus Torvalds Files Suit Against Lindows
December 23, 2001

For the first time in recorded history, Linus Torvalds and
Bill Gates are on the same side.  Sort of. 

Linus has joined Microsoft in filing a lawsuit against
Lindows for trademark infringement.  He isn't worried that
people will mistake "Lindows" for "Linux".  But he is
concerned that people might mistake "Lindows" for
"Windows".

"I don't want my creation associated with some crappy
operating system produced by Microsoft," explained
Torvalds.  The name Lindows, however, does just that.  I
realize that the Lindows folks are doing their part to
achieve World Domination fast, but can't they at least come
up with an original name that doesn't slander Linux by
connecting it with the W-word?"

The Lindows legal staff, currently holed up in a small
office building laid seige by Microsoft's vast army of
lawyers, issued only a brief response that said, "One
lawsuit at a time, please.  Can't you at least wait a few
months?  Signed, Mrs. Mia Kulpa, chief attorney for the
Company Soon To Be Formerly Known As Lindows."

Microsoft's lawsuit seeks $1.5 billion in damages plus a
court order demanding that every Lindows developer get on
their knees before Chairman Bill and beg for forgiveness. 
Torvalds, on the other hand, does not want monetary damages
and seeks only to obtain a ruling that states once and for
all that Windows sucks and therefore the Lindows name would
soil the reputation of Linux.

In related news, the Lindows executives have yet to respond
to the 512 voice mails left by Richard M. Stallman
demanding to know why their name isn't "GNU/Lindows".
--
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