[humorix] Here Comes The MCSE-ocracy!

[James Baughn <jbaughn@ldd.net>]

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Warning:  humorous content ahead.
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Here Comes The MCSE-ocracy!
Glenn Alexander, glenalec@ozemail.com.au
October 13, 2001
            
Forget about the Laywerocracy and the Marketocracy.

Those will happen soon enough, but the immediate threat is
now! 

I'm talking about the MCSE-ocracy. Imagine an Internet
where the people in charge claim as their greatest
achievement finishing two solitaire games in a row.  Where
a security patch is a bandaid with a smily face printed on
it. Where 60% uptime is good enough and it's always the
fault of the user. 

Forget imagine. If you are unlucky enough to be forced to
use a mainstream ISP, you are already living it!

Of course it is an unwritten law of business that a manager
will inadvertently never hire people more competent than
they are. This explains the spread of MCSEs, an effect that
has been variously described as Virus-like, Pac-man-like
and even an intellect destroyer. 

There is a solution to this plague but everyone must do
their part. Recent research has shown that MCSEs are
extremely adverse to non-Microsoft operating systems.
Although more testing is required, this appears to be 
predominantly for two reasons:

1. MCSEs don't know how to type. MCSEs are extremely
   talented at clicking on things (such as the queen of
   hearts, or especially the reset button) but beyond the
   ingrained knowledge of the CTRL, ARL, and DEL keys, they
   are lost in front of a keyboard. Although less
   effective, a non-MS GUI will also repel them quite
   well. 

2. When faced with a machine that doesn't crash, MCSEs
   understandably get a bit worried about job security. And
   on the rare occasions that there is a crash on non-MS
   machines, you actually have to know what you are doing
   to get going again. A MCSE in an non-MS environment
   finds it pretty unnerving to have to admit that they
   called in the eleven-year-old kid that lives down the
   street to get the system up again.

Fight the MCSE-ocracy. If you use dialup, join a small
local ISP today. If there isn't one in your area, you've
just discovered a businss opportunity.

And remember: hiring a MCSE is a reflection on your own
worth as a manager.  Nobody ever got fired for using MCSEs
-- they just went out of business.

-
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