[humorix] The Blue Screen Of Advocacy

[James Baughn <jbaughn@ldd.net>]

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Warning:  humorous content ahead.
To prevent overdosage for the sensitive readers, please
take your discussions to humorix-l@nl.linux.org...
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The Blue Screen Of Advocacy
August 17, 2001

The Federal Bureau of Investigation & Privacy Violations
has issued a national advisory warning computer stores to
be on the lookout for the "Bluescreen Bandits".  These
extreme Linux zealots go from store to store and from
computer to computer typing in "C:\CON\CON" and causing the
demo machines to crash and display the Blue Screen Of
Death.

Efforts to apprehend the bandits have so far been
unsuccessful. The outlaws were caught on tape at a CompUSSR
location in Southern California, but in an ironic twist,
the surveillance system bluescreened just before the
penguinistas came into clear view. 

"We don't have many clues.  It's not clear whether a small
group is behind the bluescreen vandalism, or whether
hundreds or even thousands of geek zealots are involved,"
said the manager of a Capacitor City store in North
Carolina.

The manager has good reason to be upset.  The bluescreen
raid was the top story in the local newspaper and quickly
became a hot topic of discussion.  As a result, the local
school board halted its controversial plans to migrate
their computers  from Macs to PCs.  

"I didn't realize it was that easy to crash a Windows 98
computer," explained the chairman of the school board.  "If
we replaced the machines in our labs, every student would
be typing in 'C:\CON\CON' all day long.  I don't think
we're prepared to deal with that."

Other stores have reported other forms of vandalism
possibly committed by the penguinistas.  At a Paperclips
store in Missouri, stickers that said "Requires 1 Terabyte
Of RAM" and "Produced By A Company In Violation Of Federal
Law" were plastered on boxes of Windows ME.  Meanwhile, at
an OfficeLeast location in Maryland, the screensavers on
the demo computers were altered to flash the text "Free
copy of 'Windows For Dummies' included with each new
computer -- because if you buy one of these computers,
you're obviously a dummy!"

Microsoft has posted a $1,000 reward for the arrest and
conviction of any of the "Bluescreen Bandits".  If you have
any information on the identity or whereabouts of any of
the penguinistas, please contact your nearest Humorix
branch office immediately; we want to give an award to
these brave Linux advocates.  Meanwhile, please _don't_
contact your nearest FBI&PV agent or Microsoft
representative. The reward money simply isn't worth it.

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