[humorix] ESR Files Libel Lawsuit Against California Court

[James Baughn <jbaughn@ldd.net>]

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Warning:  humorous content ahead.
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ESR Files Libel Lawsuit Against California Court
August 10, 2001

The small Pacific island nation of Tyridia has sunny
weather, beautiful beaches, and one of the most draconian
libel laws in the world.  Eric S. Raymond, self-proclaimed
leader of the Open Source movement, has filed a lawsuit in
Tyridia against the California Sixth District Court of
Appeals.

"If California thinks they have legal jurisdiction over
somebody from Russia, then Tyridia has jurisdiction over
California.  So there!" ESR said.

At issue is a ruling made by the Sixth District Court as
part of the ongoing DeCSS case[1].  The ruling said, "At
the time Pavlovich posted DeCSS on the Internet, he was a
leader in the 'open source' movement, the purpose of which
was to make as much material as possible available over the
Internet."

ESR, naturally, isn't too thrilled about that statement.  
"The purpose of the Open Source movement is not to make as
much material as possible available over the Internet. 
We're certainly not interested in Microsoft software, or
worthless Adobe e-books, or  overhyped Lucasfilms DVDs, or
puke-inducing boy band CDs.   To accuse the Open Source
movement of associating itself with Redmond or Hollywood
crap is simply intolerable."

He also said, "I am one of the senior technical cadre that
makes the Internet work, and a core Linux and open-source
developer.  That Russian guy is not a leader of the Open
Source movement, I am!  I did not spend the last ten years
of my life promoting free software only to have some
clueless California judges treat me like a nobody!  I will
not stand for this!  I demand justice!"

Under Tyridian law, libel is treated as a criminal offense
punishable by fifteen (15) years of hard labor cracking
coconuts open. Since the offending speech was published on
the Internet for worldwide consumption, the Tyridia court
system has jurisdiction.  Certainly the  California Appeals
Court judges should have known better than to make
available libelous material to a nation with harsh
anti-libel laws.

Civil libertarians have mixed feelings about the ESR
lawsuit. Said one, "On the one hand, I hate BECs (Big Evil
Corporations) along with CJIBWBECs (Court Judges In Bed
With Big Evil Corporations).  But on the other hand, this
could have a chilling effect on free speech. I don't want
to go to a Tyridian prison just because I often refer to
Bill Gates as 'Satan'."

ESR said in response, "You can't violate libel laws by
telling the truth."


[1] http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/opinions/documents/H021961.PDF


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