[humorix] Hacker Arrested For Defacing His Own Website

[James Baughn <jbaughn@ldd.net>]

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Warning:  humorous content ahead.
To prevent overdosage for the sensitive readers, please
take your discussions to humorix-l@nl.linux.org...
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Hacker Arrested For Defacing His Own Website
July 27, 2001

It's a great time to be a Microsoft employee.  With all of
the outrage surrounding the Dmitry Sklyarov case, the
Federal Bureau of Investigation & Privacy Violations has
quickly replaced Microsoft as the number one enemy of the
geek community.  

And how!  Earlier today, Mr. Eric Nolluck was arrested for
violating the DMCA when he "defaced" his own website as a
form of protest against the DMCA.    

According to charges filed by the FBI&PV, at 11:45 AM on
July 27, 2001, Nolluck purposely defaced the front page of
his website ("Eric's House Of Pr0n") by posting a page that
featured a photograph of Dmitry and the slogans "Free
Dmitry!" and "Serr Qzvgel!"

[Editor's Note: We would provide a mirror of the defaced
page, but doing so might violate federal law because we
would be making a copy of the hacker's intellectual
property.]

Within 30 minutes, a SWAT team from the FBI&PV raided
Nolluck's apartment and arrested him for DMCA violations.

Explained the FBI&PV prosecutor, "The photograph of Dmitry
came from a newspaper website.  Nolluck illegally used an
anti-circumvention tool -- in this case, his browser's
'Save To Disk' command -- to make an unauthorized copy of
the Dmitry photo. In addition, the name 'Dmitry Sklyarov'
is so hard to spell that we suspect that Nolluck copied the
name from another website without permission using another
illegal anti-circumvention tool -- in this case, his
operating system's cut and paste mechanism."

Eric Nolluck has also been charged with defacing a website,
a crime under federal law.  The victim of the website
defacement, Mr. Nolluck, declined to file criminal charges
against the accused, Mr. Nolluck, but that hasn't stopped
the FBI&PV from pursuing the case.

"We can't let perps like this run around," an FBI&PV agent
exclaimed. "Won't somebody please think of the children of
media corporation executives who will be harmed if hackers
and pirates like this continue their evil deeds?"

While interrogating him, the FBI&PV learned that Eric
Nolluck has the ability to translate ROT13-encoded
documents into plain text in his head.  As a result, the
FBI&PV has initiated a nationwide manhunt to find Nolluck's
parents and arrest them for giving birth to a
copyright-infringement device, a federal crime.  

In response to the news, Microsoft stock climbed 15 points
in heavy trading.  Said one spokesperson, "Maybe now we can
get some peace and quiet without all of the geeks of the
world breathing down our necks when we try to innovate. 
Thank you, John Ashcroft, for taking everyone's attention
away from Microsoft!"

In other related news, our Vast Spy Network(tm) has learned
that the FBI&PV has started files on several Humorix
employees. Because these employees have published lame
humor articles poking fun at the agency, the FBI&PV
considers them to be "national security risks".

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