[humorix] Counterfeit Linus Torvalds Autographs Hit eBay

[James Baughn <jbaughn@ldd.net>]

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Warning:  humorous content ahead.
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take your discussions to humorix-l@nl.linux.org...
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Counterfeit Linus Torvalds Autographs Hit eBay
July 20, 2001

Beware, that autographed copy of the printed Linux 0.1
kernel source code you just purchased from eBay is probably
fake.  According to a Federal Bureau of Investigation &
Privacy Violations report, several thousand forged
autographs of minor celebrities -- including Linus
Torvalds,  Dmitry Sklyarov, and Jesse Berst -- have been
discovered on eBay and other venues.

"If you see any autographs that look suspicious -- for
instance, where the signature is spelled 'Linux' instead of
'Linus' -- please contact our office immediately," said Bob
Smith, the Assistant Undersecretary to the Associate
Vice-Chairman of the FBI&PV. He added, "Every call is
strictly anonymous; you won't know the identity of the
agent on the other end of the line."

The agency also warns Linus groupies to be on the lookout
for fake Linus memorabilia and collectibles.  "If somebody
tries to sell you the 386 computer that Linus originally
used to write kernel 0.1, it's almost certainly fake,"
explained an expert in the minor celebrity collectibles
trade.

"Somebody tried to sell me a chair which Linus supposedly
smashed in frustration after getting 512 different compiler
errors at once. But it's definitely a fake.  For one thing,
everybody knows that Linus is a programming god who always
writes perfect code on the first try," said the founder of
the Linus Torvalds Personality Cult.

Even with all of the commotion surrounding his name, Linus
Torvalds has been relatively quiet.  Yesterday he simply
issued a press release which stated, "This press release is
not here yet." As usual, he was unavailable for comment at
press time.

On the other hand, Richard M. Stallman is always available
for comment at press time.  He issued this statement:
"Unlike Linus Torvalds, I have made my signature available
to the public under the GNU General Public License. It may
be freely copied, distributed, and modified. However, I do
request that users continue to write my signature as
'GNU/Richard M. Stallman'."

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