[humorix] Fight Spam And Go On Vacation At The Same Time

[James Baughn <jbaughn@ldd.net>]

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Warning:  humorous content ahead.
To prevent overdosage for the sensitive readers, please
take your discussions to humorix-l@nl.linux.org...
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Fight Spam And Go On Vacation At The Same Time
Glenn Alexander, glenalec@ozemail.com.au
June 9, 2001

An awful lot of publications like to present news stories
that are nothing more than regurgitations of corporate
press releases.  Humorix is no different.  Earlier today we
received an unsolicited press release from "SpamBeGone,
Inc." which we've decided to pass along to both our regular
readers as filler material so we don't have to write any
real fake news.

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SpamSmasher 1.0 Released Under GNU-Compatible Business Model

After six months of closed development, we are pleased to
announce the first public version of our innovative
anti-spam software under the GNU GPL.

The SpamSmasher(R) daemon utilizes spare server bandwidth
to cooperatively analyze the propogation of reported spam
and trace it to the true  source.  The software is
immediately available as open source, but serious users may
wish to consider our "SpamSmasher Holiday Package".

Yes, for the low introductory fee of just US$5000 you will
be given a 48 hour placement in our secret SpamSmasher
Ready Room from which you will be flown to the country of 
the spam's origin.  Upon arrival, you will receive a 
monographed SpamSmasher 5-pound slegehammer and then you
will be escorted to the home or office of an offending
spammer.

There you and up to seven other anti-spam crusaders will be
inserted (using whatever means necessary) into the 
spammer's premises and given free reign to destroy as much
electronic equipment as possible. Upon accomplishing your
mission, our trained staff will extract you from the
country quickly and anonymously and return you to the
SpamSmasher Ready Room, where the beer is as free as the
software. At least two SpamSmasher opperations are
guarenteed in the 48 hour period.

Unfortunately, despite popular demand, physical abuse of
the actual spammer can not be permitted. Verbal and
psychological abuse are allowed and even encouraged. The
lucky spammer doesn't go away with empty hands either; they
receive a complimentary T-shirt reading "I had [insert
monetary estimate with laundry marker] of equipment
SpamSmashed and all I got was this badly fitting  T-shirt!"

Just US$5000 to terrorize a spammer? And you get to keep
the complimentary monographed SpamSmasher slegehammer for
your home or cubicle? How could you possibly resist this
amazing holiday package?

Download SpamSmasher free today and then sign up for our
value-added Holiday Package to help support an open source
business model that really makes money!

-
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