[humorix] April Fool's Day Cancelled Due To Lack Of Interest

[James Baughn <humorix@i-want-a-website.com>]

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Warning:  humorous content ahead.
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April Fool's Day Cancelled Due To Lack Of Interest
April 1, 2001

In a bizarre turn of events, not one single person on the
entire planet was fooled by an April Fool's Day gag.  The
lack of quality gags, plus a severe bout of apathy
experienced worldwide, has turned April Fool's Day into
just another boring entry on the calendar.

The staff of Humorix couldn't be happier.  Our plans for
abolishing April Fool's Day in favor of August Fool's Day
are coming into fruition several years ahead of schedule. 
[Insert sinister laughter here.] This rescheduled holiday
will give us several more months to procrastinate before we
finally come up with our own Fool's Day gag.

One of the funniest items our Vast Spy Network(tm)
uncovered today wasn't even an April Fool's Day gag. 
Somebody over at Ziff-Davis made the startling discovery
that Linux kernel 2.4 had been released, reporting the
scoop a full negative three months ahead of everybody
else[1].  This author then mentioned the "Torvolds Unix
standard" and the "Riser FS".  (And you thought Humorix
lacked journalistic acumen!)

Even Slashdot, that bastion of absurdity, failed to get
into the April Fool's spirit.  Taco Boy merely used the day
as an excuse to post all of the crackpot submissions that
he's received during the past year.  I mean, geez, a 100%
lossy compression tool?  Isn't that what /dev/null is for? 
Meanwhile, The Register's pretend assimilation into the
Microsoft empire (well, we hope it's pretend) was
suspiciously similar to the April Fool's Day gag Humorix
did two years ago.

"I don't know why, but people just didn't care about
fooling other people today," explained one sociologist. 
"Today is a Sunday, which might not help. And it's the
beginning of Daylight Saving Time for most parts of the US,
that period of government-mandated jet lag that causes
people to waste several hours changing and re-changing
their clocks. But still, I don't understand it.  Has the
whole world gone mad? (Or sane?)"

All we can say is that April Fool's Day is dead.  Long live
August Fool's Day.


[1] http://www.zdnet.com/pcmag/stories/reviews/0,6755,2697960,00.html


................................................................
James Baughn
-
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