[humorix] Have You Downgraded Your Browser Today?

[James Baughn <jbaughn@ldd.net>]

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Warning:  humorous content ahead.
To prevent overdosage for the sensitive readers, please
take your discussions to humorix-l@nl.linux.org...
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Have You Downgraded Your Browser Today?
February 18, 2001

Humorix is much more than a lame humor website that
constantly pokes fun at Microsoft and lawyers while
plotting improbable world domination attempts.  

Humorix is an institution dedicated to positive social
change.  (You can stop laughing now.)   For instance, we're
spearheading a movement to convince people to downgrade
their browsers in an attempt to fight off the effects of
Sturgeon's Law.

Years ago, 90% of everything was crap.  Unfortunately,
thanks to the Web, that number is now much closer to 99%,
and is asymptotically approaching 100%.

It's time to put a stop to the madness.  Everybody needs to
downgrade their browser to a version that only supports the
HTML 3.2 standard.  

We don't need JavaScript.  We don't need proprietary
plug-ins that only work with Microsoft shoveware.  We don't
need stupid animated GIFs of dancing babies.  We don't need
superfluous eye candy that sucks up 100% of virtual memory
and turns a Pentium into an XT (that's what Windows is
for).  We don't need pages created using tables within
tables within tables within tables within tables within
frames within frames within pop-up windows that invariably
cause Netscape to segfault.

Most of all, we don't need some snot-nosed webmaster or
clueless Pointy Haired Boss[1] telling us to piss off when
we try to visit his website using something other than
Internet Exploiter 2002 running under the latest
incarnation of Microsoft Windows XP (eXtremely Pathetic).

Can you imagine what would happen if a dotcom PHB became
the manager of a brick-and-mortar store?  "Sorry, Ma'am,
this store only supports the latest Nike(tm)(R)(C) brand
shoes.  Anything else is incompatible with our carpeting
and will prevent you from getting the most out of our
store.  You will have to upgrade your shoes before we can
let you in."

Just think of all of the crap we can eliminate if everyone
used an HTML 3.2 browser with JavaScript turned off.  We
can nip Sturgeon's Law in the bud, but only with your help.

Downgrade to an older browser that hasn't been infected
with Microsoft or AOL commercialism.  Boycott sites that
say "best viewed with IE 5.5" (which is really a warning
label).  And if somebody tells you to upgrade your browser,
just reply, "You'll pry Lynx from my cold, dead hard drive".

With your help, we can stop the JavaScriptization of the
Web.

Thank you for your support.


[1] Of course, using "clueless" and "PHB" in the same
sentence is redundant.

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