[humorix] Humorix Intercepts GNUist Memo

[James Baughn <jbaughn@ldd.net>]

Humorix Intercepts GNUist Memo
By Comrade Penguin
August 5, 2000

Regular Humorix readers (now there's an oxymoron) have
probably been following the unfolding interdimensional
GNUist plot, no doubt asking themselves, "Just what the
heck is this all about? And how is this GNUist saga
supposed to fit into the Humorixia storyline? Can't these
idiots keep track of their own plot threads and in-jokes?"

Well, we can't answer those questions at this time because,
we... um, well we haven't made up the answers yet.  For
now, the GNUist storyline continues with this memo that our
Vast Spy Network(tm) intercepted earlier today.

===

           Memo from the Desk of
          the Benevolent Dictator
                  of the
Union of Penguinitic GNUist Republics (UPGR)
     800 Alan Cox Way, Linusgrad, UPGR

Our darkest days are upon us.

Our spies have just uncovered a massive plot against us. 
Our enemies plan to arrest key members of the GNUist Party
and lock them away for life for conspiring against the
government. Without these members, I fear we are doomed.

The success of Open Source' Manifest Destiny relies on our
ability to obliterate major closed source players in this
dimension. We need Linus... we need Cox... we need ESR,
RMS, Young, Ewing, Malda, etc. Heck, we even need losers
like Baughn.  We are depending on these people to propogate
OSS and ensure that success of the GNUist Revolution
worldwide.

However, powerful forces continue to push for closed source
software. These range from tech pundits... [cough!] Berst
[cough!]... to US Congressmen... [cough!] Fattecat
[cough!].  The Powers That Be are in the process of
shutting down something called "Napster", some kind of
peer-to-peer network.  Obviously these enemies have the
judicial power to cripple wide-area communications such as
our own GNU-Net.

We fear that some of our agents have already been
captured.   Mr. Adair has probably already been imprisoned
for attempted jaywalking, or some other pretense, and we
worry that RMS could be imprisoned for his politically
incorrect beliefs.

We must take up arms now or face defeat. His Universal
Benevolence, Linus Torvalds XII (probably version
582958190), sent us a message via GNU-Net from his Home
Dimension 1.0, saying that he is not happy that we are
losing this battle against some puny corporation on some
backwater planet in an obscure dimension.  As he said, "I
swear by the Great Penguin, those earthlings don't even
have intersteller travel yet! They should be easy to
beat..."

I'm sorry, my emotions are getting to me. I must finish
this e-memo soon, as I am preparing to depart for Linusgrad
shortly. I will continue to advise from there.

We must continue the fight. We can not lose to greed.

Signed,
Tuxedo L. Penguin, Benevolent Dictator

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