[humorix] Windows 98 More Secure Than Linux!

[James Baughn <jbaughn@ldd.net>]

Windows 98 More Secure Than Linux!
Bernhard Rosenkraenzer, bero@redhat.de
November 8, 1999

REDMOND, WA -- Earlier today Microsoft published the
results of a test conducted by an independent company,
Mindcraft. In this test, the security of Linux and Windows
98 were measured by allowing 100 hand-picked hackers to try
and breach the system.   The results?  Well, it depends on
where you look.

The "Linux Myths" section of Microsoft's website contains
the headline, "Don't Bet Your Life On Linux -- Unbiased
Tests Prove Windows 98 Is More Secure".  They quote a
Mindcraft employee as saying, "...Linux... sucks."  

But, the "Freedom To Innovate" section tells a different
story. The headline: "Linux Is More Secure Than Windows,
Test Shows... Look, Judge Jackson, We Have Competition!" 
They quote the same Mindcraft employee as saying, "Compared
with Linux, Windows sucks."

Thanks to the diligent efforts of our Vast Spy Network(tm),
which never ceases to amaze us in their superhuman ability
to be at the right place at the right time, we have been
able to obtain the actual report from Mindraft.

Two identical machines, one running Windows 98, the other
running Linux, were configured to serve static web pages
over a 10 MBit network.  (Note: Initially, a 100 MBit
network was going to be used, but Windows 98 was unable to
handle the traffic, so the test was altered "to give both
OSes an equal chance".)

During a 12 hour period, 100 selected hackers were  asked
to crash and/or modify the content of the web pages.  The
system with the least number of security breaches would be
crowned the winner.

The Windows 98 box was actually running Windows 98 Third
Edition, an internal never-to-be-released build of the OS. 
In addition, the Linux box actually ran Rat Head Linux 0.1,
a Microsoft internal distro, featuring, among other things,
kernel 0.9.2, wu-ftpd 2.3 and sendmail 8.6.4.  

During the test, the Linux box never crashed, although one
hacker was able to gain root access by exploiting a buffer
overflow. Meanwhile, the hackers were able to easily gain
access to the Windows box numerous times, but the system
would always crash on its own before they could do any
harm.  

The results of the test were sent to the Microsoft
Marketing and Legal Departments, which interpreted them
differently.  The "Linux Myths" page operated by Marketing
states, "The content of the Windows box was never modified,
but the Linux box was.  Clearly, Linux is less secure than
Windows."  

On the other hand, the Legal Department published, "The
security of the Linux box was breached only once, while
Windows was wide open to the hackers.  Clearly Linux is
superior with respect to security... anybody with half a
brain can see that Linux represents serious competition to
Windows.  Microsoft does not have a monopoly!"

In response to the news, the Gartner Group issued a press
release titled, "Linux Is Competition, But It Still Sucks",
which states, "... We recommend all Linux users upgrade to
at least Windows 3.1..."


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