[humorix] Humorix IPO Delayed

[James Baughn <jbaughn@ldd.net>]

Humorix IPO Delayed
July 26, 1999

Humorix's IPO suffered a minor setback yesterday when a
group of bureaucrats from the Securities and Exchange
Commission visited Humorix World Headquarters and spoiled
our First Anniversary party.  The SEC has found
"irregularities" in our prospectus[1], causing the IPO to
be delayed until July 30th.

Miles Clinton, one of the SEC representatives, enumerated
some of the "irregularities" contained in our S-1 filing:

- We failed to cross five T's and dot two I's.

- Section 13, Sub-Section 'C', Sub-Sub-Section 3, Paragraph
  2, Sentence 4 contains a typo.  "Domenation" is mispelled
  in the sentence "We plan to use the IPO proceeds to fund
  our plans for World Domenation..."

- Our claim that the Humorix PORTAL Web site "has received
  a 512% increase in traffic over the last ten months" is
  wrong according to the SEC.  One bureaucrat said,  "That
  statistic is meaningless since, at the time, Humorix had
  only been online for 10 months."  He added, "We could
  claim that the number of trees killed to produce SEC
  paperwork has increased by 1,044,619% over the last 200
  years, but such a statement is also meaningless and
  wrong."

- In the statement "We plan to issue US$129.95 worth of
  common stock..." we accidentally left out the word
  "million" after the dollar amount.

- The "Expenses" section under the heading "Summary
  Financial Data" fails to include several items including
  "Electricity", "Air Conditioning for Humorix World
  Headquarters", "Internet Access & Telco Monopoly
  Charges", "Slashdot Addict Support Group Donations", and
  "Beer & Snack Foods Supply".  As a result, Humorix's
  actual net loss is US$10,253.62.

- We forgot to mention that the term Big Evil Company(R) is
  a registered trademark of Microsoft Corporation. 
  Moreover, we failed to state that Microsoft(R) is also a
  registered trademark of Microsoft Corporation. In
  addition, we omitted the disclaimer that the phrase Fair
  Use Doctrine(R) is a registered trademark of the United
  States Patent & Trademark Office.

- The NASDAQ ticker symbol that we applied for, FAKE, has
  already been taken by another low-budget humor portal. 
  After considering other options like "HMRX", "DUH",
  "BSOD", and "SEGV", we've finally decided to use the
  symbol "FAUX".

The SEC has given us the green light to hold our IPO as
soon as we re-file our prospectus with the requisite
changes.  Our current schedule to hold the IPO on July 30th
will give us plenty of time to execute our Humorix IPO
Astroturf Plan.

Even with SEC approval, not everybody is happy about the
Humorix IPO.  One Wall Street Journal columnist wrote last
week, "A low-budget Linux humor website is holding a
million-dollar IPO?  This must be some kind of hoax... I
checked government records... there is no such corporation
as Humorix World Domination, Inc.  There is no Vast Spy
Network(tm) or fleet of Humorix Spy Satellites.  Humorix
World Headquarters, as far as I can tell, is a small
outhouse in the Ozarks.  This is obviously a hoax."

Nevertheless, both regular Humorix visitors are
enthusiastic about the IPO.  They have received special
invitations from E*Raid Securities to participate in the
IPO at the opening price ($10). One said, "Hopefully I'll
make enough money to afford a new shrinkwrapped copy of Red
Hat Linux 6.0..."


[1] http://i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/jun99.shtml#Humorix-IPO

---

James S. Baughn
http://i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/

P.S. In case you were wondering, all of the URLs at the
bottom of the previous message ("One Year of Humorix") are
wrong.  These kinds of mistakes happen when it's late at
night and most of the Humorix staff is plastered following
the big First Anniversary party.

-
Humorix:      Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note
Archive:      http://humbolt.nl.linux.org/lists/
Web site:     http://www.i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/